How to Get Your Friend to Dump Her BF For The Summer
If you’re single, you’re guaranteed to like your BFF better when she’s single.
She stays out way later, drinks way more, has a bunch of random daddies inviting you two on their yachts, and most importantly: you don’t have to compete with her boyfriend for her time.
Oh, and she always has the funniest stories the morning after a crazy night.
But what to do if your BFF is still tied down with a winter bae now that thotting season is in full swing? Well, you can no longer stay silent about her mediocre boyfriend. After all, she’s your only friend that’s down to rock micro-thong bikinis with you to pool parties, and you just can’t do that alone.
Here are some tips to get her to ditch the ball and chain!
1. Remind Her of All The Cute Outfits Her BF Will Get Pissed About
The funny thing about boys is they’ll approach you at the party because you’re wearing a mesh top. But then once they start catching feelings for you, they’ll get butt hurt anytime you leave the house in something sexy when they’re not around. Every girl hates this – unless she’s like, the type of girl who likes being treated like a pet.
Play on your friend’s annoyance about this by shopping with her and picking out super thotty outfits. Like thotty-x-treme. Casually mention how you can’t wait to look hot AF in these lewks and are so happy you don’t have a dude who’s going to get possessive about his girl looking fire without him on her arm. She’ll start fantasizing about wearing pasties to a pool party as a single betch.
2. Make a Bet To See Who Can Get Into More Pools This Summer
If you live in the city, having pool access is a very coveted thing in the summer. Unless you’re rich af or live with your parents, you probs don’t live in a building with a pool, but that’s what rich horny NYC dudes are for. Make a bet with your BFF to see who can get invites to the most pools this summer. She’ll be hyped until she realizes that she’s taken and not going to be able to flirt her ass off to get an invite to Soho House this summer. Unless, of course, she dumps the doorknob.
3. Tell Her She’s Not As Fun When She Has BF
Nobody wants to tell her, but what are friends for? This one cuts deep, because no boss bitch wants to be told she’s suddenly a grandma once she gets a boyfriend. But, it only hurts because it’s true! Tell her you miss the old Drake and remind her of last summer when you got drunk and schemed your way to the Hamptons. She’ll think twice about spending this summer wifed.
4. Have Some Real Talk
There comes a point in your life where it’s not really worth being in a relationship if it’s not the real deal. Like, sure, it’s fun to have hook-up buddies and casual flings, but if you’re really going to settle down in your early 20’s, it better be the damn love of your love and the guy that’s going to take care of your geriatric ass.
Sit down with your biffle over some chicken and waffles and have “the talk.” Like, is she going to marry this guy one day? If not, why is she wasting summer of 2017 – when she’s still young, hot, and able to wear bike shorts as a fashion statement – being tied down? Sometimes it’s hard to ditch a dude when he’s done nothing wrong, but she’s never going to get her early-20s summers back! And she needs pics of her chugging rosé on a inflatable swan in a wedgie bikini to show her grandkids one day!