How To Scam Your Way To The Hamptons
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Let’s get real, you can’t just go to the Hamptons. You have to be worth a milli or know people to summer it in the ever so classy Long Island. If you want to be kickin’ it with Leonardo DiCaprio at the Surf Lodge this summer this is what you’re going to have to do as a broke babe to get there.
1. Be A Rich Kid’s Baby Sitter
Make that cash money and get to enjoy the Hamptons by babysitting a brat or two. It may suck, but being a nanny is pretty much a guaranteed ticket to staying in a Hamptons mansion for free.
2. Go On Bumble
Find a guy who has a Hamptons house and message him. This will take some serious stalking skills but it’s definitely doable, especially if you’re in the Manhattan area. Obvi at first you gotta be low-key because he can’t figure out your plan. Once you get to cyber flirt hardcore for a few days then you can slide into his DM’s all like “so what are you up to this weekend?” and he’ll be all like “oh heading out east for the weekend” and you’ll be like, “oh, what a shame I was really looking forward to maybe seeing you ;)” and then most likely his next text to you will be his address and the best back roads to take.
3. Ride The Jitney Back & Forth Until You Make A Friend
The Jitney is the $33-one-way bus that transports people from the grody stench of Manhattan to the sweet sea breezes of Manhattan all summer long. Hopefully you’ll meet someone on the first ride since this shit takes four hours each way. As soon as you secure the friendship then come up with a bogus excuse as to why you don’t want to spend the night at your place — “oh my parents have their annoying friends in town, we should hang out tonight.”
4. Get An Internship For a Swanky Hamptons Business
So many options here, whether you chose a snobby clothing boutique, nautical furniture store or a finger-food catering company. Hell you could even work for on ranch if you want, they literally have everything you can imagine in the Hamptons. Whatever job you choose is going to be a guaranteed ticket to spending time in the Hamps.
5. Be An Uber Driver
Uber driver = way to make Hamptons friends without having to fake your identity AND gives you a valid reason to be there in the first place and not look like a creep. If it ends up being a complete fail at least you made some $$ and can just drive your ass home.
6. Pay For Tinder Pro and Pretend You Live In The Hamptons
…And then hookup with a guy that lives in the Hamptons and stay over at his place. This may sound ratchet AF but this honestly can really work out in your favor especially if he’s hot. Like no one’s gotta know and a lack of summer plans calls for desperate measures. Just make sure he’s not a murderer or hardcore creep first.