6 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Have Sex on The Beach
Sex on the beach is one of those things that you think is super romantic at age 13. It’s right up there with a guy throwing rocks at your window or saying “I <3 u” via instant messenger. Once you get a bit older, you may know sex on the beach as a drink, and to be honest, that’s where it should stay.
If you’re grown and you think sex on the beach is still a totally chill, sexy, romantic endeavor that you and your boo should try out, read this first.
1. Sandy P*ssy Ain’t Cute
Sand in your hair is one thing. Sand in your bikini bottom is another. But, when your legs are spread and you’re doing god knows what in the sand? Things can get really nasty. The smallest bit of the wrong bacteria in your nether regions can lead to a yeast infection, UTI, or something worse.
2. Water Takes Away Your Natural Lubrication
If you’ve ever had shower sex, you’ve probably realized that adding water to your wetness does the complete opposite of the desired effect. This is no different when it comes to the ocean, pool, or any other body of water you may want to get busy in during the warm months. If the idea of chafing and dry, sandy sex turns you on, then go ahead and run to your nearest beach with the first dude you can find. Otherwise, maybe stick to a dry area so that you can get (and stay) wet where it matters.
3. You May Become a Sex Offender
There’s nothing like a little exhibitionism to get your blood flowing, but take one wrong step and you could end up with a warrant for your arrest and your name on the sex offender list. Even late night at the beach, there are plenty of cops roaming the beach with flashlights that could catch you with your pants down. If you’re still down to get dirty in public, read up on these tips.
4. Be Aware of (Sharp) Trash
Assuming you’re getting it on in the dark and not mid-day in front of children wearing floaties, you may not be able to see everything in your territory. If you’re on a public beach, you never know what kind of shit is hidden beneath the sand. Sit on one broken bottle, half-lit cigarette butt, or bucket of boardwalk fries, and your love-making session could end in tears, embarrassment, or the emergency room.
5. Creepy Creatures In Your Lady Parts
You probably don’t have to worry about a ghost crab getting into your business. But have you thought about sand flies or fleas? Just in case you weren’t aware, these creatures bite. If you are unlucky enough to attract a bite onto your most sensitive parts, I’m sure that the mediocre at best, sandy love-making wasn’t worth the pain (or worse, infection) that followed.
6. You Have a Higher Risk of Catching an STI
Because the friction of the sand on your genitals can cause skin abrasions, it makes you more susceptible to STIs. This may not be a worry if you’re taking a summer trip with your boyfriend, but if you’re getting it on with some casanova you met at the local surf shop? Might want to pass.