5 Things That Are Romantic In The Movies, But Ridiculous In Real Life

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We all grew up romantics, whether you admit it or not. While my friends (and parents) may dub me as a cynic, or at least a realist, when it comes to love- I think all of us girls have a little romantic seed inherent in us from birth (or at least from watching all those Disney movies).

However, it seems like all those adorable moments that we envisioned would one day happen to us with our Prince Charming, wouldn’t actually be so cute in real life….

Throwing Rocks At Your Window

This was my ultimate f***ing dream as a middle-schooler. One day my crush was going to throw rocks at my window in the middle of the night and it would be the cutest thing since Aaron Carter. As a 21 year old, if a dude ever threw rocks at my window, I would first off be pissed at him for waking me (and possibly my roommate) up,  second off; be worried that he was going to break my window (and I’d have to pay for it), and thirdly wonder how effing drunk he was to think that was a good idea.

Chasing You Down At The Airport

If I took a shot for every movie that has a scene like this, I would probably be in the hospital for alcohol poisoning right about now. If I’m about to spend my summer in London (oh wait, I am) and decided to leave an ex-boyfriend behind, there’s a reason for that. It may be a hard decision, but if your boo is keeping you from traveling and achieving your dreams, he shouldn’t be your boo anymore. If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen eventually.

Returning Your Lost Items

We all know that life isn’t a fairytale, and if you lose your shoe before midnight you’re drunk. While I can certainly appreciate a dude who will take the time and effort to find me after I lost my phone, wallet, and ID at the bar- he’s probably still not my soul mate (and may very likely be security at the bar).

Buying You Endless Presents

Let me preface this with saying I will certainly never deny a slew of gifts from a lover, who would? However, I’ve found that most guys I know that buy their girlfriends “spontaneous” gifts are usually doing so to apologize for something bad they did previously. Furthermore, if I had to choose, I’d prefer a dude who spent time and effort on me, not just money. Tiffany’s is expensive, but it’s basic and thoughtless. I’ll take a handwritten love letter and a framed picture of us any day.

Playing With (and/or climbing) Your Hair

Bitch, I don’t care how badly you want to f*ck me. Build a f*cking ladder! You think I’m gonna get a long-ass weave so you can tear that shit out with your fat ass putting all it’s weight on it? And while I f*cking love when people play with my hair, that’s also because I put zero effort into my hair every morning- so it’s okay when you mess it up. If you’re one of those girls who spends 2 hours straightening and then curling your hair every morning? A dude can get his sweaty paws out of there!

Surprising You

I still to this day, really do like surprises. However, there are such things as good and bad surprises. When your friends tell you you’re going out for a night on the town and your boyfriend flies in from Quebec to meet you at your favorite bar? Cute. When your boyfriend shows up announced at your house and you’re in the middle of doing an at home bikini wax? Not cute. As with anything with us girls, you can be right- or very, very wrong. Good luck figuring it out, boys!

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