9 Reasons You Should Start Banging a Surfer Right Now
In light of this week’s Vans US Open of Surfing, we figured this was the perfect time to confess our love for the summer season’s hottest fuckboy: the surfer dude.
Whether you’re a huge fan of surfing, or you just really like the movie Blue Crush, you’re sure to appreciate the hordes of tanned, toned, and wet dudes and dudettes in Huntington Beach this week to compete among the waves.
In case you’re lucky enough to be nearby the action, or you simply match with your local surfer on Tinder, here are a few reasons why you might want to take him (or her) for a ride.
1. They Love Getting (You) Wet
Pretty sure this doesn’t need an explanation. But if you’re dating someone who’s constantly in the water, I’m sure they’ll understand that “darling it’s better, down where it’s wetter.”
2. They Look Great Shirtless
Have you ever noticed that cities near the beach have the hottest people? Something tells me it has to do with the fact that its inhabitants constantly have to be in bathing suits. It’s easy to gain extra pounds in the winter, but if you spend all your time at the beach you’re going to want to keep your body looking hot in your board shorts. Not to mention that surfers also always have a killer tan.
3. They Can Stay Down For a Long Time
Remember that scene in Blue Crush when they’re legit walking underwater holding a rock so that the main character can hold her breath for longer? Yeah. Let that sink in for you. You know when you’re giving a killer bj and need to stop for air? Your surfing partner may have basically sprouted gills and not need the extra air while going down.
4. You’re Basically In a Beyonce Song
Surfboard. Surfboard. You’re not going to need to be drunk in love to want to grind on a surfer, I promise.
5. There’s Always a Reason To Hit The Beach
Remember when you dated that dude that worked at a fro-yo place and you could always go get free sh*t? Yeah. This is like that, but better (better because you’re not dating a loser who works at the mall anymore). There will always be a reason to hit the beach, whether you’re joining your boo for a weekend adventure or picking him or her up after high tide.
6. They Know That Practice Makes Perfect
One thing about surfing and numerous other solo sports, is that they’re not easy. It takes dedication and a hell of a lot of practice (and balls). If your boo can put that much effort into surfing, imagine what they can do when they want to put some drive into pleasing you in bed?
7. Morning hook ups are Always a Go
Lots of surfers wake up at 4 am to catch the best waves. Whether you’re getting home from the club at 4 am, or tossing and turning while dreading work, there’s never anything wrong with some early morning nookie.
8. They’ll Always Smell Good
Unlike the guys that buy Axe thinking that it’ll actually work like it does in the commercials, your surfer babe will smell amazing (wax, that is). If you don’t think smelling your bae’s skin and being transported to the beach is going to make doing it better, you’re wrong.
9. Just Ride
Whether you prefer to be on top, bottom, or side; a surfer knows his angles and has the balance down. Maybe it’s time that you do some riding of your own tonight.