26 Thoughts Every Girl Has During Morning Sex
1. Yep, there’s definitely a boner rubbing up against my ass right now..
2. Should I pretend to be sleeping? It’s way too early for this
3. Okay, now he’s actually humping me, I don’t think I can fake sleeping anymore
4. What f*cking time is it?!
5. Can I hit the snooze button on his dick?
6. How do I politely/seductively tell him that I’d prefer to have sex after 45 more minutes of sleep (or you know, two hours)?
7. Oh wait… that’s actually starting to feel pretty damn good.
8. How am I this wet at 8 am?!
9. No, no, don’t try to kiss me; I think my breath still smells like cheap vodka and buffalo chicken taquitos from 7-11.
10. Okay fine, you can kiss me as long as you keep doing what you’re doing with your hands down there…
11. I wonder if this counts as fasted cardio?
12. This might be the most productive I’ve been on a Sunday morning since I used to go to church…
13. I wanted french toast for breakfast, but I guess I’m getting dick instead.
14. Yay protein?
15. I really don’t want to know what my hair looks like right now…
16. Or my make-up…
17. Oh, looks like the remainder of my make-up is smeared on his white pillowcase, oops?
18. Please don’t make me get on top right now.
19. Actually, might as well get an orgasm in if I’m already up…
20. I hope his roommate is a deep sleeper.
21. Or maybe we’re turning him on?
22. This b*tch better buy me a breakfast sandwich after this…
23. With hash-browns.
24. F*ck, if he keeps doing that, maybe I’ll buy him a breakfast sandwich.
25. Maybe waking up at 8 am to suck dick wasn’t such a bad idea after all!
26. But I hope he knows I’m going back to bed now…