Passive Aggressive Ways to Get Your Dude to Make it Exclusive

When’s the best time to bring up “the talk” with the guy you’re hooking up with? Trick question, there is no good time.

If you bring it up early, the dude will probably call you crazy and clingy, then proceed to disappear like Casper. If you bring it up late he’ll probably freak out about the fact that you’ve been hooking up with other guys while hooking up with him and call you a slut.

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Even dudes on Reddit who are normally opinionated about everything all have totally different ideas of when they want girls to bring up “the talk.” Some said after the first date, some said before they start having sex, and some said that they think girls should never bring it up at all. Great!

Obviously, the right time depends on the relationship and the dude. But instead of having good communication and cutting through all the bullshit, maybe you should just be passive aggressive af and hope he gets the hint? After all, if you can’t beat the psychopaths, join them.

1. Introduce Him To People As Your Friend

There’s nothing more awkward (or satisfying) then having to introduce your current boo thang to your friends. He’s not officially your boyfriend, so you don’t want to introduce him as such, but you’re also not going to be like, “Hey guys, this is Nick, the guy I met on Thirsty Thursday and have been fucking ever since.” Instead, just introduce him as your friend. Because hey, he is your friend, with benefits or whatever. He’ll probably get pissed, which is great because that’s the whole point. Sorry ’bout it.

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2. Make Sure He Knows Your Love Life Is Not His Biznass

What is it with guys who feel the need to know a girl’s sexual history right when they start talking? If I needed someone to judge me about my sexual choices, I’d go to my gyno. I would never ask a guy what his sex number was, so why should he want to know mine? Guys think it’s totally chill to ask a buttload of questions about your dating life, and you might not want to tell him the answers for no other reason than the fact that it’s fucking awk! If he asks something that a rando shouldn’t know, tell him it’s not his business. Better yet, tell him he’s not your boyfriend so it’s not his business, because if he was your boyfriend than maybe it’d make sense for him to ask.

3. Make Sure To Explicitly Tell Him He’s Not Your Boyfriend

Basically, any chance you get to make it clear he’s not your boyfriend and you won’t treat him like one, do it. Sure, you could be a nice person and treat him like someone you care about, or you could be like a dude and treat him like a walking dildo, somehow the second will probs make him love you more because guys are psychopaths.

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4. Tweet Shit About Being Single AF

OMG, LOL, #singlegirlproblems! Don’t be embarrassing and complain about being single, that’s a horrible lewk. Just you know, make it clear you don’t have a man, which will cause the dude you’re talking to to get jealous af and realize he needs to lock it down. Classic.

5. Make Sure He Doesn’t Exist On Your Social Pages

Nothing makes me cringe more than girls who post pictures with a guy they’re “talking to.” Call me new-fashioned, but becoming “Instagram official” is just as bad as becoming Facebook official, except worse because one person can do it without the other’s consent. There’s no real benefit to posting pics of ur booty call prematurely unless showing people you’re not 100% single is really that important to you. All it achieves is make other people more involved in your love life than you need them to be. Take a lesson from T-Swift and Tom Hiddleston and keep your boo under wraps on social media until he starts getting pissed, then maybe he’ll realize that only real boyfriends get to be on your ‘gram.

At the end of the day, maybe the better idea would be to date a guy who knows he’s ready to commit and isn’t down to play games, and you can talk about exclusivity right away. Or, you could just harp on drama and drive yourself crazy being the passive aggro person you’ve always wanted to be!

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