This Proves You Should Never Date Someone Hotter Than You
Have you ever noticed that literally every relevant celebrity can’t seem to manage a lasting relationship? Either they cheat, get a divorce, or never get married in the first place. You may have thought it was something in the Hollywood water, but there’s actually a much simpler reason why all celebs suck at relationships: because they’re hot.
Three studies led by Christine Ma-Kellams, a social psychologist, wanted to answer the age-old question: do better looking people have shorter relationships and more divorces? The answer, not too surprisingly, was “yes.”
In the three studies, which are detailed in this Broadly piece, the researchers found that the more attractive someone was, the more likely they were to get divorced and have shorter relationships. They also found that the hotter someone is, the more likely they are to have a wandering eye even if they’ve been in a relationship for a while. Lastly, they found that the hotter someone feels, the more likely they are to pursue other options while in a relationship. This explains why that ugly ex of yours who should’ve been kissing your feet was still sexting other girls.
Remember when I said to date a guy who’s obsessed with you? Yeah, bet that advice is sounding pretty good right now! It’s hard enough to trust your partner, but this study proves that they’re even more likely to be sus if they’re super hot. So maybe, I don’t know, date someone who’s sexy in a casual way and not an in-your-face way? You know, like someone who’s secretly hot, those are the best partners.
If you’re reading this and thinking to yourself, “no wonder I’m so single, because I’m so damn gorgeous,” hold your horses. One of the reasons why attractive people don’t have lasting relationships, according to the study, is because they tend to be lazy in their relationships. This all goes back to the problem of having too many options. Hot people think that they have a ton of options, and they don’t need to “settle.” So, instead of working at a good relationship, they’re more likely to say “fuck it” and dump their bae when they forget to get them pizza one night.
So basically, hot people are selfish assholes in relationships, which you may have learned by now already. Maybe relegate the Brad Pitt look-a-like to fuck-buddy status and save bae status for someone who isn’t going to dump you for a younger model in 10 years.