Benching Is The New, More Psycho Form Of Ghosting
Move over ghosting, there’s a new way of dumping someone without dumping them: benching.
Even if you couldn’t tell exactly what benching meant from the title, you can probably guess.
You’re almost good enough to be first string, but not quite. Instead of being told straight up that you didn’t make the team, the “coach” allows you to warm the bench in case the first choice fucks up.
“Oh shit,” you’re probs thinking to yourself, “I totally know what benching is. This explains why that fucker from Bumble keeps texting me randomly every few weeks but never makes plans!”
When I saw the NY Mag article on benching, I didn’t even need to read the article to know what it was about. We’ve all been victims of benching, whether we realized or not. Ghosting got a lot of attention, but benching is way, way shittier. I mean for real, who wants to be Plan B? The only time Plan B is ever a good thing is when you forget to use a condom and wake up in a hungover panic.
We all know guys who bench. You know, the dudes that text you (or Snapchat you more likely) saying “hey stranger” or “how u been babe?” Fuckboys pop out of the woodwork like cockroaches when you least expect it, and they do it right as you were about to think that they ghosted you. You know, just to make sure they stay fresh in your mind for the next time you need a drunk booty call.
But before you add benching to the long, long list of wrongs that men commit on the regular, take a look at your own dating life. Have you really never had a back-up? Like come on, it’s not true that every girl has 10 dudes waiting on the sidelines (much to every misogynistic Twitter user’s disbelief). But that doesn’t mean chicks are completely innocent of benching. Just like ghosting, both genders are equally guilty.
Every girl has a “backup” nigga in case you fuck up & he’s just waiting on her like a rebound like… pic.twitter.com/1dE7BhWy01
— Bdell (@Bdell1014) March 13, 2014
If anything, it seems that the difference between guys and girls is that they bench for different reasons, similar to the reasons why they cheat. Guys are more likely to bench chicks because they never want to face a single Friday night without getting their dick sucked, even if they have to resort to fourth string. Girls on the other hand are more likely to bench so that they have somebody to text them, give them attention, and help them to get over the last guy who fucked them over right away.
Whether you’ve been benched or you’ve benched someone, or been on both sides as most single people have, it’s kinda fucked up. Granted, it’s much easier to string someone along or ghost them rather than straight up saying that you aren’t into them. But, it’s time for us to stop being so shitty when it comes to dating. I mean really, what goes around comes around, and karma’s a bitch.
Having five dudes on the side in case your main boo fucks up is convenient, but it might not be so convenient if your main finds out. Besides, if you want a quick rebound, there’s always Tinder.
On the other hand, this is more reason than ever to say “boy bye” if a previous fuckboy ever tries to come back into your life. He doesn’t miss you, he’s just hedging his bets.