All the Reasons Why Celeb News Is Boring AF Right Now
Have you noticed that celebrity news has been a little less fun than it used to be recently?
I know I have.
While news cycles naturally ebb and flow, lately the celeb world has been a dry gulch of boringness. But it’s not just random or bad luck. I can think of six reasons off the top of my head why celeb news is boring af right now.
Don’t worry. It’s not you, it’s them.
1. Selena Gomez is in rehab
Even though she may not star in the biggest movies or release the biggest pop songs, Selena Gomez is a central cog to the celebrity world.
She defends her best friend Taylor Swift on social media when nobody else will, she feuds with and follows her ex-boyfriend Justin Bieber, she releases a steady stream of enjoyable music, she’s the second-most followed person on Instagram, and every now and then she stirs up controversy after getting caught neck nuzzling with other celebrities in public.
While she has been seen in public once, chilling at a chain restaurant in chic casual wear since she decided to go off the radar, her absence has left a gaping void in the fabric of pop culture news.
2. Kim Kardashian got robbed
This is probably the biggest reason why celeb news has been boring as all fuck recently.
Kim Kardashian is the queen bee of headlines.
Whether she’s casually freeing the entire boob in Mexico or doing an embarrassingly bad impression of Kanye on Snapchat, every day with Kim is always new and exciting.
But then she got robbed and decided to stop going out, stop posting on social media, and stop being the Kim we all know and love.
Even though we still have Kylie, it’s not the same.
Nobody does celebrity like Kim Kardashian.
3. Kanye stopped tweeting
Say what you want about Kanye, but his tweets give people life.
Like how can you not help but break into a smile when you read tweets like these?
I got rid of my phone so I can have air to create
— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) September 14, 2016
McDonalds is my favorite brand
— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) August 31, 2016
On another note, I strongly dislike suit jackets. I used the word dislike because I hate the word hate.
— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) March 23, 2016
But in the past two months, Kanye’s tweeted exactly three times.
It’s probably partly to do with Kim, partly because he’s on tour, and partly because the last time his name was in the media, he was getting raked over the coals for throwing an “abomination” of a fashion show.
4. Taylor Swift is taking a break from boy drama
For as much shit as people give Taylor Swift for her love life, we’re all obsessed with it.
Whenever Taylor’s dating somebody or breaking up with somebody, every day seemingly produces hundreds of stories.
Because you click on them. Even if you think it’s dumb and she’s dumb and [insert media outlet here] is dumb for covering it, you’re reading it.
And right now, Taylor’s taking a break because we all ripped her to shreds for enjoying what always seemed to us like a fake relationship with Tom Hiddleston.
And because of that time Kimye exposed her for lying about approving those “Famous” lyircs, but that’s another story.
Sure, Vogue still writes about her wearing leopard coats and everybody’s all atwitter that she’s hanging out with Drake and he’s allegedly buying gifts for her cats, but did you fall asleep while reading that sentence? Because I definitely had to stifle a yawn.
5. Justin Bieber is off the gram and off in Europe doing who knows what
Justin Bieber is kind of a hot mess right now.
Whether he’s telling his fans to shut the fuck up during concerts or walking around Amsterdam wearing a fake disguise that looks like it was purchased from a 99 cents store and doing who knows what, honestly, we’re kind of over it.
Bieber clearly needs a break from the spotlight and we’re more than happy to give it to him.
6. The Election
It’s not just that celebs are depressed because Trump won, but celebrities are kind of like major network TV shows. If there’s something bigger than them is going on in the world, like say an NFL game or a presidential debate, they save the show for next week when there’s a better chance that nothing will steal their thunder.
Also, celebs are really depressed that Trump won.