How I Realized The Idea of a Soulmate Was BS

Believing in soulmates is kind of a cop out. Depending on what type of person you are, you may find yourself settling for a shitty relationship or pining for a prince charming that doesn’t exist based on the idea that there’s one soulmate out there for you.

We asked our readers when they realized that the idea of a soulmate is BS, and if you still believe in soulmates, maybe this will knock some sense into you.


“If there was such a thing as soulmates, it was definitely me and my ex. We were compatible from the second we met. Even though I wasn’t attracted to him at the time, everyone around us could see and feel that we had this connection. After two years of being close friends, we ended up dating. It was great at first and we were so sure that we’d get married and be together forever.

“It didn’t work out for various reasons, but I learned that if you start dating just because you are alike, that could change and then you have nothing. Also, thinking he was my soulmate definitely made me put up with way too much shit from him because I thought it was ‘meant to be.’ I still think if anyone was soulmates in the world it was us, but we definitely shouldn’t be together. I really think he was my brother in a past life or something, but I also have literally no interest in speaking to him or being with him ever again.”


“All my life I had dated guys who treated me like a princess and would do whatever I said. When I finally dated a guy who wasn’t always at my beck and call, I thought that it was true love because there was finally an equal power balance in the relationship. Months later that ‘equal power balance’ wasn’t so equal anymore and I learned what it was like to be the one in the relationship who loves the other one too much. I thought that our passionate fighting was worth it because it was meant to be and it proved how much we cared about each other, but in reality it just meant that our relationship had become toxic.”


“It probably happened in college when I realized I stopped believing in God and the idea that there’s some life plan or plan. It’s my destiny to find. Like no, you have to go out there and find what works for you. Also the idea of a soulmate is so depressing and powerless to me. Like, really? There’s just one person out there for me and if I never find him than I’m destined to lead a significantly less romantic life? That’s bullshit. Nobody is perfect. No relationship is perfect. There are just people you really click with whose flaws don’t really bug you and they aren’t repulsed by yours.”


“I realized that soulmates aren’t real when I found myself trying to rationalize bad behavior solely on the notion that we were made for each other.”


“I realized that soulmates don’t exist when I see seemingly perfect couples cheat on each other and break up.”


“When I was a kid, I believed hands down that everyone had one soulmate in the world and that fate would bring those two people together. Unfortunately, since I was a child, most of my idealized notions about love came from watching Titanic on repeat rather than having real life experiences. As I matured and began to have relationships of my own, I realized that while I still believe soulmates exist, I think it’s more likely that each person has more than one soulmate. People change so much over a lifetime, so I think it’s possible for one person to have several soulmates to correspond to different stages of their lives.”

Gimme More Dating

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