Why You Haven’t Found Prince Charming Yet
If you have your “dream man” perfectly crafted in your head, one of two things can generally happen:
A. You somehow find yourself with a guy who is the polar opposite of your “list” and hardly fits any of your “requirements.” Then you eventually dump him in search of someone closer to your standards.
B. You deny every dude that comes your way. Maybe he’s not tall enough, or rich enough, or he has a weird accent. Whatever it is, you’re not about it. Next, please!
Research shows that the superficial things that most of us base our choice in partners on do not lead to happily ever after, and soulmates are BS.
In fact, in Ty Tashiro’s research for his book, The Science of Happily Ever After, he found that there was no correlation between income level or physical attractiveness and relationship satisfaction:
“Our mate preferences have been shaped by natural selection’s obsession with physical attractiveness and resources as well as the messages our friends, families and favorite shows transmit about sweethearts and soul mates,” explains Sean Braswell for Ozy.
Believing in soulmates can set you up for failure. While 9 in 10 Americans believe in soulmates, only 3 in 10 report finding a lasting relationship.
But don’t worry, there’s a solution.
Tashiro essentially says that while passion may be fun in your mid-20s, it’s not something to build a long lasting relationship out of. He recommends finding someone you “like” rather than someone you “lust” for, or someone who drives you crazy.
While movies can make you believe that an up and down relationship filled with hot break up sex is great, in real life… it’s not. Also, looks and bank accounts are two things that can decline with age, especially if you’re making your new bae take you on a trip to Europe every weekend.
Try this: Instead of focusing on someone who “has it all,” focus on finding someone who you genuinely enjoy being around. Don’t lower your standards, just change them.