8 Struggles Of Dating A Foreign Guy
The other week, a contributor detailed 10 reasons why she would never date an American Guy. While it was hilarious, we hate to admit that it goes both ways. While accents are sexy, salsa moves are hot, and we’re a sucker for some exotic mystery, sometimes we still fail at trying to seduce a foreigner. Here’s why:
1. You Can’t Always Understand Him
Obviously, most foreigners have mastered the skill of speaking two or more languages as if they are fluent. However, many still have accents, albeit slight. There are always going to be certain words that you don’t completely understand at first try. Obviously, you don’t want to let them know, so you just nod and laugh as if you know exactly what they’re saying. Sure, this works most of the time… but your bound to get caught eventually.
2. He’s Way More Cultured Than You
He’s probably been to 3x the countries that you have (if you’ve even left the country). He knows all about the literature, cuisine, and religion of world cultures; yet your idea of the history of Rome is The Lizzie McGuire movie.
3. You Can’t Exactly Meet The Parents
If you get serious and want to meet the folks, you might want to start saving up some airfare miles and some sick days from work, because unlike your hometown, it’s not a quick drive away. If you do take the trip, you better hope that the majority of his relatives speak english and aren’t talking shit about you in Spanish behind your back.
4. You Wonder If He’s Using You For a Green Card
You can’t seem to understand why out of all the beautiful girls in his country he wants to date you…
5. You Can’t Keep Up With His Dance Moves
Unlike American guys who seem to just rock from side to side while waiting for you to get low, this dude spins you around the dance floor like you’re Jack and Rose on the Titanic.
6. Or His Taste In Food
If you’re a picky eater, a foreign guy is probably going to laugh at you (and I don’t blame him). Your chicken caesar salad and chicken tenders need an upgrade ASAP. And P.S. Chipotle doesn’t qualify as Mexican food.
7. Your Blowjobs Aren’t As Good As You Thought
If you’ve never seen an uncircumcised penis, look one up right now. Yeah… kind of weird if you unexpectedly pull that out of a dude’s pants with no warning. Well here’s a warning to you, you need to touch them a bit differently than a circumcised penis because an uncut dick is wayyyy more sensitive. Think of it like when a guy is rubbing your clit too long and it starts to almost hurt.
8. You Have More Trouble Bonding With The Bros
It’s hard enough to win his friends interest when all they talk about is football (which you know nothing about), but imagine if they’re always talking in another language? Yeah, then you’re kind of screwed. Plus, what if they’re talking about you without you even realizing? Unfortunately, your 4 years of high school French didn’t teach you how to translate “That American bitch looks like Taylor Swift on drugs.”