7 Ways To Make Relationships Work, According To An Expert Who’s Rarely Wrong
Science says relationships don’t equal imminent doom, which is news to me.
Everlasting love is possible, according to expert Dr. John Gotteman. And you can probably trust him, since Gotteman is one of the doctors famous for developing a model for predicting divorce rates among married couples, with up to 94% accuracy.
So what are the secrets to lasting love? Find out the seven ways it’s possible to make love last, below.
1. Do What Your Significant Other Likes
Figure out—asking is a good way to do this—what your boyfriend or girlfriend likes, and do more of that. Simple, right?
2. Focus on the Good Stuff
Try and recalibrate your thinking towards positivity in regards to your lover’s behavior. As in, even when you’re angry, try and focus on seeing where they’re coming from, and how you can rationalize what they’re doing as something that’s more about themselves than about you. You’ll both be happy you did.
3. Don’t Isolate Yourself
Dr. Gottman maintains that couples who are happy in their relationships tend to stick together during hard times in their relationship, instead of going it alone.
4. Let Your Partner Influence You
This one’s apparently more for the dudes in the house. Caring about your partner’s ideas allow you both to be more vulnerable with one another, and also helps each partner to feel more comfortable with giving up control of the relationship.
5. Pick Your Battles
69% of the problems in any relationship won’t be solved, so you might as well just focus on the other 31%, according to Dr. Gottman. Pick your battles.
6. Do Whatever You Can to Fix the Problem
And when you can’t do it alone, get help. Maintaining a gridlock between arguments will only build resentment.
7. Do Shit Together
As in, go on vacation. Because as famed married person, Kanye West once said, “How you gon’ be mad on vacation?” And he’s in love, so it must work!