Why You Should Run Away If Your New Bae Calls His Ex ‘Crazy’
At some point in any relationship (hopefully not the first date), exes are brought up. As long as he’s not saying “I miss my ex” or “Why can’t you suck my dick the way my ex could?” It’s no biggie. Exes are part of our lives and sometimes they turn up in some of the stories we tell our new boo.
If your man talks about his ex in a negative light, saying she’s “crazy” and that he had to block her on all social media, you might be thinking this is a good thing. You’ll think, “Hey, at least I won’t have to worry about him going back to her.” Because recent exes are always a slight worry in our overthinking minds.
But a dude who calls his ex “crazy” is a cop-out, and might be bad news. Specifically if he calls all of his exes crazy.
“Maybe, just maybe it’s not the exes that were the crazy ones, but them,” suggests Kim Samuels, dating expert and comedian. “Seriously, I met a guy who told me about three previous relationships he was in that broke up because the women were acting crazy. Really. All of them were crazy. Wow. I caught onto that immediately. Everyone else can’t be crazy and this person could definitely not be the only sane one. Run Forrest, run!”
Sure girls can be a little “crazy” sometimes, but guys can be equally (if not more) crazy.
“You really should find out what your date means by calling his ex ‘crazy,’ urges Sheri Ragland, author of Seven Deep Insecurities Men Don’t Want Women to Know. “Simply ask, ‘Why do you call your ex crazy? Just curious, since you mentioned it.’ His answer will shed light on his thinking and whether or not you should continue to date him.”
If he says that his ex-girlfriend cheated on him, lied about it, and keyed his car after he dumped her; fine, she sucked. But half the time, it seems that the only reason guys are calling their exes “crazy” is because they don’t know any words to describe actual emotions. Or worse, they made their exes crazy by being emotionally unavailable and sketchy.
“You have the guy who instigates the crazy by not letting the relationship end,” explains Kim. “He will entertain texts or calls and respond to them, making it seem like there is some sort of hope. If it’s over, let it be over. He’s encouraging her to be ‘crazy.'”
In some cases, he probably won’t even have a legit answer to why he’s calling his ex crazy. He might just sit there pondering for a minute before changing the subject to talk about his new “sick” Supreme hat.
Kim wonders, “If you meet a guy who is telling you about a crazy ex yet he is supposed to be seeking you out as a romantic prospect, what does that say about him?”
Calling your ex crazy is honestly just a sign that he can’t handle real emotions and/or relationships. Sure, he may be cute and have a nice car, but once you guys break up you’re just going to be another one of his “crazy” exes when the most “crazy” thing you did was actually agree to date him in the first place.