Beware: The Guy With All The Crazy Exes
“All girls are crazy” is the man’s equivalent of girls saying “all guys are the same.” I won’t lie, I know some girls who really are batshit crazy in their relationships, but I can’t pretend I haven’t seen some guys pull very similar antics. In fact, I’ve learned that the guys who talk about girls being crazy the most, are the ones who are the craziest themselves. It takes two to tango, doesn’t it?
I started dating a guy who’s ex-girlfriend scared the shit out of me. Not because she threatened me, hurt me, or so much as spoke to me. It was because of the way his friends spoke about their relationship, the way he still couldn’t be in the same room as her two years later, and the way he would always say “All my ex-girlfriends are crazy.”
As a naive 19 year old, I went along with this. I thought to myself “poor guy, all his exes sound so crazy… good thing I’m not crazy, and I’m gonna show him that relationships can be awesome!”
And for a while, our relationship was pretty awesome.. until he started letting certain insecurities get the best of him. First he started asking me if he looked fat, or wasn’t looking buff enough, very frequently (this coming from a guy with a body of a god, for real). Secondly, being in college, we were both constantly drunk and if I would make some sarcastic joke after a night of drinking, he would begin a rant of “if you’re not happy with me you can just leave.”
I shrugged these things off, figure that the reason he was insecure was because his past girlfriends gave him such bad experiences. And then, out of nowhere, I became one of those crazy girlfriends too. Me, the level headed, realist, who’s remained friends with all her ex-boyfriends, became that psycho girlfriend. Because it’s impossible to remain “normal” when you’re in love with someone who constantly doubts themselves, your relationship, and refuses to express emotions because they’re “scared of being hurt.”
When things FINALLY ended (after breaking up and making up multiple times, another thing I never do), I realized how crazy the entire relationship had made me, and how I never want to be that person again. It wasn’t shortly after that I ran into the infamous “crazy ex” of his and had a casual conversation, realizing that she was completely normal, just like me, and in a new relationship that’s been going on for a while now. It wasn’t the girls that were crazy- it was him.
Sometimes I wonder if he describes me to his new girlfriend’s as “his crazy ex.” Maybe he does, maybe he doesn’t. But either way, don’t make the same mistake I did: if a guy has a past of shitty relationships, you bet your ass there’s a reason- and it’s him.