Former side chicks admit dating a cheater never works out
As the saying goes, “if he cheats with you, he’ll cheat on you.”
And yet, so many women seem to be cool being the “other woman” and hoping it’ll turn into a relationship. Like, girl, why would you want to date a lying, cheating scumbag?
Obviously, there are girls who claimed that everything turned out peachy, and I’m sure that does happen from time to time, but I can’t imagine the relationships usually turn out great. And this Reddit thread proves it.
One Reddit user, bojangleskitty, asked the women of Reddit: “Women who started their relationship as ‘the other woman’- does it ever cross your mind that your partner will find another ‘other woman’ when committed to you? How do you stop your mind from wandering?”
The thread shows that things turn out pretty much how you’d expect – messy.
“I started out my last relationship as the other woman and the trust that I had for him was so low from the start,” says Reddit user kathyboh. “We were with each other all the time and constantly keeping tabs on one another when we weren’t together. I made no time for my friends and isolated myself from everything. I went from being confident and happy to embarrassingly insecure in myself and my relationship.
“So, if you’re thinking about it, just don’t do it,” she continued. “There’s so many other people out there and you should absolutely consider starting a relationship where you can trust the other person entirely because how it all started will always be in the back of your head.”
Yikes. She proves that it’s not even the cheating that’s the worst part of a relationship with a notorious cheater – it’s the fear of cheating and losing yourself to your relationship. Also, why would you date someone you can’t trust?
Or, there’s the chance that his personality totally changes toward you once you go from the other woman to the girlfriend.
“While there wasn’t physical overlap, the guy kept me ‘on hold’ for 4 months while he was deciding what to do with his current girlfriend of 7 years,” said Reddit user skydart. “When I said I was done waiting, that it was starting to feel gross and cheat-y, he immediately dumped her and started dating me.
“He ended up being resentful and mean towards me (I think it’s partially because his guilt over how it began) for most of the three years we had together,” she continued. “After him dismissing multiple desperate pleas for couples counseling, I got sick of his behavior and ended up leaving him for another guy (ironically). He made my life hell because of it. Don’t do it. It very rarely works out.”
Yikes! How did she put up with that shit for three years? We’re glad she got out of it, but it brings up another point – that if someone is okay with being the other woman, they’re probably also okay with cheating on their partner!
And, sometimes you just get karma coming right back around.
“I had this situation twice,” said Reddit user brandnamenerd. “Both times, the person had their foot out the door already when I met them…Both relationships ended with me being cheated on.”
She continued, “I’d like to say it’s something I deserved falling for it twice, I really should have recognized the pattern, but the circumstances at the start of both relationships were so different I hadn’t put together that it was the same thing. I was very trusting, blindsided both times, but I can take ‘being too nice’ as a personality trait.”
The only thing worse than being the other woman? Making a habit of it. Glad she learned!
Other women claim that it all depends on the circumstance, and that cheating isn’t “black and white.”
“I never worry that my partner is 100% committed to me,” said Reddit user horneddorset. “We both cheated on existing longterm partners to be with each other. Our exes (with whom we still have friendships) do not know. We’ve been together for 12 years, though most people think it’s 9. We don’t have guilt. We’re very happy.”
The users that responded to this comment pointed out that it’s kind of different if both of you were cheating, and I agree.
You both equally did some sus shit, and know that you’re both capable of it, which makes the playing field a little more even. Or, you know, if you believe in “true love” and shit, you can say they’re an exception cuz they were just “meant to be” and knew they had to leave their other partners.
Regardless, the majority of the time cheating doesn’t end well. Not to mention that half the time when you’re the “other woman” the guy isn’t actually planning on breaking up with his main girl in the first place. Respect other people’s relationships and karma will reward you! Trust us.