Guys Explain Why They Ignore You When Their Bros Are Around
It’s a pretty common experience to be talking to a dude who acts like your boyfriend when you’re alone together but essentially ignores you when you’re out with other peeps.
Okay, maybe it’s not that common, but if that’s actually your situation, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but that guy doesn’t give a fuck about you and wants to keep his options open.
While you should never waste your mental capacity caring about a random, if you find that your actual boyfriend is less attentive when he’s around your bros, here’s what’s up.
Reddit user bs25418 had the same question, so she asked dudes why they always played it so cool around their guy friends. The answer? A lot simpler than you think.
“Because not everything is always going to be about them,” said Reddit user RainbowBitches.
Ouch. Tough love, bb. But the dudes, while harsh, are kind of right.
We’re all adults here, ya know?
And being in an adult relationship means that it’s not all holding hands, PDA, and kissy-faced emojis all the time. Sometimes you have to make time for other people, and it’s hard to have a good catching up convo with a friend while your girlfriend (or boyfriend) is burrowing into your side.
I mean, take a different perspective.
Don’t you get annoyed when you’re at the club with a bunch of your girlfriends and your boyfriend is constantly trying to grind with you in the corner and bringing you away from the rest of the group? ‘Cuz I do.
“When I’m in a relationship with someone, I spend a lot of time with them alone, so when there’s a third party there I don’t want to be the asshole friend that abandons everyone else once they’ve got a girlfriend,” says Reddit user flamingfireworks. “Especially since I already show her a lot of attention.”
Such a good point. Nobody wants to be that friend who disappears once they start getting laid. That’s only okay when you’re a teenager who just lost their virginity and are in your first Facebook official relationship.
Another Reddit user had a simpler answer that has to do with the fact that boys can’t do anything right, that they simply don’t know how to give attention to two people at once.
“They can’t manage the ratio of attention they’re giving to either their friend or girlfriend,” says Reddit user Brayder. “It’s either one or the other for most people when it’s a third wheel situation.”
Yes, boys are idiots, but it is hard to keep two people feeling attended to at once!
At the end of the day, if you feel like your boyfriend is being rude when he’s with his bros, that’s a different story. But if you simply feel like he’s not giving you enough “attention,” maybe you need to reevaluate your relationship expectations and also consider how you act when you’re with your girlfriends. After all, if you two wanted to stand in the corner and dote on each other all night long, you should’ve just stayed home together instead of going out.