Believing In Soulmates Is Making Your Sex Life Worse
If you know me, you know that I think soulmates are bullshit. But it’s not my job to convince you of that, it’s sciences’ job.
In fact, in a recent study, it was found that people who believe in sexual soulmates are more likely to have worse sex lives than those who don’t believe in sexual soulmates.
If you’re surprised, you shouldn’t be.
Think about it, if you believe in sexual soulmates, one bad hook-up with bae is going to convince you that your relationship is doomed and you’ll probs dump them. But if you’re part of the other camp, the group that believes communication is necessary to a good sexual relationship, you’ll probably try some new shit and regain your chemistry.
Broadly reported on the recent study, which was published in Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. The researchers had participants rate their beliefs along a spectrum, such as choosing where they fall between “Sexual relationships often fail because people do not try hard enough” and “If a relationship is meant to be, sex is easy and wonderful.”
They then had participants journal for three days. The journaling included reporting on if they had sex and where they fell on the spectrum that day. The results showed that if someone believed that good sex requires communication and work, they were more likely to have better sex and a better relationship.
Also unsurprisingly, the study found that more men than women were likely to believe in the idea of sexual soulmates. After all, men seem to be happier in most sexual relationships since it doesn’t take much for them to get their rocks off, and women are generally the ones crossing their fingers that they’ll get an orgasm for once.
The moral of the story, explained the leader of the study to Broadly, is that having a rough patch in the nookie department doesn’t need to be the end of your relationship.
“We know that most couples face sexual disagreements/conflicts over time, so believing these problems are signs that your relationship wasn’t meant to be is going to make it hard to stay satisfied in most long-term sexual relationships,” she explained.
Unfortunately, your partner can’t read your mind, and he won’t know the sex is whack unless you tell him, which is the first step. The second step is to tell him what you do want him to do. The reason sex is exciting in the beginning of a relationship is because it’s new, so if you’re feeling bored of your lover, try some role plays or even simply start getting dirty in somewhere besides your bedroom.
Just like the perfect partner, the perfect sex life doesn’t exist. It takes two to tango, after all.