Barbie Has Officially Become An Instagram Thot
Barbie has always been that bitch you love to hate. She had the coolest clothes, the best body, and never had to work a day in her life unless she randomly decided to put on a flight attendant uniform for kicks. Sure, her boyfriend was basic and without a penis, but otherwise her life seemed pretty fab.
Well, now Barbie has succeeded in getting something else to earn your jealousy, a career as an Instagram thot
You may be surprised at first, wondering how on earth a plastic toy is supposed to sell products to her Instagram followers. But considering Barbie has 1.5 Million followers (myself included) with tons of engagement, we’re pretty sure she’s got it in the bag.
Besides, Barbie has a lot in common with all of the other detox-tea hawking girls you hate-follow on Instagram. She’s got a body that conforms to our society’s idea of “perfect,” the weird ability to be in a new country every damn day, and a shitload of followers that love her and envy her at the same time while saying things like “she’s hot, but I bet her tits are fake.”
Hate all you want, but Barbie’s sponsored Instagram post last week in collaboration with Mane Addicts and Dyson show she’s not going anywhere. Even if Mattel isn’t doing so great in the toy department, at least now they have a back-up with their doll-turned-influencer.
If anything, this should just be more inspiration for you to finally turn all your Instagram selfies into a lucrative side hustle. After all, if a doll without a butthole can do it, certainly you can handle it too!