9 Things Guys Say That Can Totally Ruin a First Date
Practice makes perfect, but no matter how many dates guys go on, it seems that they’re constantly saying shit that makes you wonder how the fuck they ever get laid. Sometimes, all it takes it one little line for you to automatically know that they’re not getting a good night kiss, let alone a second date.
1. “What are you in the mood for?”
Alright, if you show up to meet this guy and he doesn’t have a plan, you might as well turn your pretty ass right around and call the Uber back. If a guy can’t take the time and effort to plan out a first date, we can only imagine how shitty of a boyfriend he would be. I don’t care if he’s Brad Pitt’s döppelganger, no amount of hotness makes up for a dude that can’t take charge and get his shit together.
2. “My ex and I would always come to this place.”
First off, why would you take a date to a place that you went to with your ex? That’s just bad karma. Do dudes possess any creativity? Secondly, mentioning your ex during a first date is never a good idea. I don’t care if you broke up yesterday or three years ago, it’s weird. I get that when you’re with someone for a long time, you have lots of stories that involve them, but if you must tell a story about your ex, just call her your “friend” so that thinks don’t get awkward.
3. “What size bra are you?”
What size dick are you? And are you 12 years old? It’s amazing how some guys still think that this is an appropriate question to ask women, especially on a first date.
4. “Why don’t we just split an entrée?”
Even if he doesn’t ask you to split the check, there are plenty of broke-bitch maneuvers that guys try to pull on dates. I’ll never forget the time that I went on a date to a tapas place and we ordered two small plates before the dude started exclaiming how full he was. No honey, you’re not full, you’re just cheap.
If a guy is too broke to take a girl out to dinner, why doesn’t he just take her for drinks? Or to a movie? Or something that he can afford? I’d rather not be promised a free meal and end up with one escargot and a breadstick.
5. “Want to split it?”
You better hope that motherfucker is talking about a banana split. It’s bad enough if you reach for your card out of politeness and the guy lets you pay, it’s another if he asks you to pay from the get-go. But, the paramount douche lord maneuver is when fuck boy tries to make some connection between you paying for yourself and feminism. Feminism does not mean chicks don’t want free drinks, it means that they want the choice to do whatever the fuck they want.
6. “Want to just watch a movie at my place instead?”
You said sushi and drinks… not Netflix and chill. If I wanted to chill at your house and suck your dick I would’ve gone out with a high school kid. Like Fergie said, if you ain’t got no money take your broke ass home.
7. “You look so different from your Tinder profile pic”
And you’re definitely not like 6’3″ like your profile said. Are you saying I’m not hot enough for your standards? Because I have like 70 other dudes messaging me so IDGAF.
8. “ Oh, nothing for me, I don’t drink.”
As if a first date isn’t awkward enough, it’s even more awkward when you realize that your date is straightedge. While there’s nothing wrong with being sober, it can be uncomfortable when you’re down to guzzle a bottle of wine and he’s down for a water.
9. “That blonde chick in your profile picture, what’s her name?”
Okay, I know this date isn’t exactly love at first site, but we haven’t even ordered entrees and you’re asking about my friend? Stay in your lane. I’m not rude enough to ask about your cuter roommate who I also matched with.