The 8 Step Guide for Running Into Your Ex
Whether you run into your ex at a semi-acceptable place, like a bar when you’re looking cute, or the worst place possible, like on your walk of shame, everybody has the same thoughts.
Do you say “hi” or ignore them completely? Do you stop and talk, or just wave and keep walking? Do you act like you’ve suddenly developed a case of amnesia? Do you profess the fact that you never got over them and still wear their T-shirt to bed?
While you hope you’ll never have to run into your ex, you might eventually. Here’s how to be prepared and look like the bad bitch that you are.
1. Plan Ahead
Prepare for the worst, but hope for the best. If you’re in college and your ex still lives on your campus, the chances of you running into them are pretty high. If you don’t want to run into them when you’re hungover and fighting for your life with no makeup on, then try not to frequently run around campus looking like that.
If you run into them out, imagine how you would want the situation to go. Obviously, the ideal situation is not you drunkenly slapping them in the face and crying in front of his entire fraternity. If you worry about how you’ll act when you’re drunk, try going to different bars that you two never went together. Obviously, this seems overly dramatic, but hopefully you’ll only have to take these precautions for a couple weeks before you stop giving a fuck. Plus, going to new bars is never, ever a bad thing. Routine is boring.
2. Decide If They’re Dead To You
Do you hate your ex? I mean really, really hate your ex, not just saying you hate them because you’re not over them. Did he cheat on you with your roommate or drunkenly tell you that he thinks you’re dumb? Then fuck him, he doesn’t deserve your politeness or acknowledgement whatsoever. Don’t feel awkward completely ignoring them like they’re a fucking ghost, because they’re not worth your time of day if they treated you like shit.
3. Assess The Situation
Is your ex literally about to pass you on the sidewalk? Or is he at the club with another girl ten feet away from you? If the first situation is the case, you might want to say hello. If the second situation is the case, there’s really no need whatsoever for you to go out of your way to acknowledge your ex, and if you do it’ll probs be awkward. Go let your ex have fun with his rebound/downgrade, and you have your own fun with your girls.
4. Is Drama Going To Ensue?
If you foresee you saying “hi” to your ex resulting in any sort of drama, whether it’s a drunken fight or him texting you the next day asking for closure, don’t bother. He’ll take the hint and if he’s smart he’ll realize that you’re just saving you both from any drama that might proceed from you two interacting again.
5. Are You Over Them?
Be honest with yourself about this one. Are you really, truly, over them? Is there no part of you that secretly hopes they’ll want to get back together? If there’s not, then you can feel free to engage in some friendly small talk. If you’re not over them, it’s better for you to not speak to them. Just give a brief wave. Talking might make you miss them or wonder what could’ve been, and you don’t need that sh*t.
6. Brag a Little Bit
If you decide that it is a good idea to engage in a little bit of small talk, cool. Just make sure that instead of talking about how many times you blacked out post breakup, you make yourself sound good. Sure, it might be bullshit, but if you’re going to practice talking yourself up to someone, it might as well be your ex. Casually throw in the fact that you got a new job or that you’re starting your own podcast. It’s not like you want him to ask for you back, but nothing wrong with making him realize how great you’re doing without him. I’m sure he’ll try to do the same.
7. But Don’t Try To Make Them Jealous
There’s a difference between bragging and trying way too hard to make your ex jealous. Even if you do have a new bae (which you shouldn’t right after, cuz it’s obvs a rebound), you don’t need to tell your ex about it unless he specifically asks. Would you want to know if your ex had a new girlfriend? Probs not. And if your ex told you, you’d probs think they were trying way too hard to “win the breakup” and seem like they were over it. Don’t be that girl.
8. Don’t Overanalyze It
So you ran into your ex, you chatted for five minutes, and you moved on. Cool. Now you can never think about it again, seriously. You don’t need to think back and wish you had said something else or wonder if he thought you looked dumb in that pink vinyl skirt you were wearing. Overthinking it will seriously fuck with your head, and if you’re still thinking about it after, it means you’re probably not over them. That’s okay, but it means that you shouldn’t try interacting with them anytime in the near future.
