Your Relationship Is F*cked Until You Stop Being Friends With Your Ex
There are a zillion reasons why you should not be friends with your ex. I mean seriously, I could talk about this all day. But instead, here’s a new reason, backed by science, why you should quit it.
If you stay friends with your ex, it could affect your new relationship.
It’s not because your current boo will be jealous of your ex, or because your ex will try to beat up your new boo, but it’s because you’ll always view your ex as a back-up, and therefore never truly commit to your new relationship, according toÂ recently released research.
The researchers spoke to 400 undergraduates, mostly females, who were in relationships and found that 40 percent of them kept in touch with their former boo.
When they interviewed the subjects about how they felt about their old partner, their new partner, and about the breakup, they found something not too surprising.
“[t]hose who still communicated with former partners reported higher levels of romantic feelings for their former partner and experienced poorer adjustment to the breakup,” explained the study. On top of that, the study found that, “these individuals reported lower commitment to their current partner.”
Shocking? Not really. But the fact that we have some sort of validation to prove that people who are friends with their ex aren’t over their ex is pretty great.
The second part of the study focused on the why. Researchers interviewed the subjects about their reasons for keeping in contact with an ex. While there were multiple reasons, the main reason was to have a “back up plan” of sorts.
The researcher was very PC in saying that the study didn’t advocate for or against staying friends with an ex, but the message was clear.
“Many people find themselves ‘stuck’ on former partners or unable to really break away from the idea of a relationship with them,” explained the lead researcher to Broadly. “When this happens, they experience higher rates of depression and anxiety, and are less likely to find themselves in a healthy new relationship.”
Well look at that, we’ve previously discussed why going “cold turkey” on your ex is the only way to get over them, and this study confirms it. It also confirms another study that says that having a “back up plan” is ruining your current relationship.