Why Going Cold Turkey On Your Ex Is The Only Way To Get Over It
Everybody has their own way of getting over a breakup. Some people want to “stay friends,” some people want “closure,” and some people want to fuck all their exes friends in attempts to get revenge. But the smart people cut their ex out of their life completely and never look back.
You may think that going cold turkey on an ex is too intense and unrealistic because you “shared such an important bond” during your relationship, but science says otherwise.
Being in love is kind of like being addicted to drugs, explained anthropologist Helen Fisher to Broadly, and you probably know that having to suddenly be without a lover (or some coke) after having them for so long can be hard af.
Fisher found that both cocaine and being in love activate a dopamine production system in a part of your brain called the ventral tegmental area. It’s these dopamine reward systems that influence people’s addictions, whether it’s drugs, gambling, or even love.
But what’s the best way to get over an addiction successfully? Go cold turkey. Yes, it’s difficult, yes it’s painful, but in the end, it’s what works.
Delete your ex’s number, unfriend/unfollow them on social media (it’s not lame, I swear), stop hanging out with their friends or going to places where you might “accidentally” run into them. Wanting to drunk text your ex or secretly wanting to run into them is normal, but it doesn’t mean you should act on these impulses, it’ll only fuel the fire and make getting over them harder.
Going cold turkey on someone who once held such an important place in your life might feel strange at first, and will effect the dopamine in your brain, which is what can make you feel temporarily depressed after a breakup, but Fisher says this void can be filled by filling your life with other dopamine producing activities.
Going out with new people is something that helps because of the newness, exercise also helps, which is a double bonus because getting hotter after a break-up is always a win. But as new shit will get your dopamine flowing, getting comfort from your old friends will produce oxytocin, which is equally important. Oxytocin is also produced when you have an orgasm, but it might not be the best idea to go fucking randos after a bad breakup right away.
Breakups suck, but so does hearing your ex’s name a year later and still feeling butterflies in your stomach. Save your sanity and your dignity by quitting your ex completely after you end things. It’ll help you get over it way faster, and minimize the likelihood of a relapse, since we all know that getting back together with an ex is always a horrible idea.