Someone Is Finally Trying to Make a Hangover-Free Alcohol
We have wireless headphones, GPS, and Snapchat glasses, but we still don’t have a zero calorie or zero hangover alcohol. WTF?
Well, according to Professor David Nutt, we’re about to have one of those sooner rather than later.
David Nutt’s creation is called alcosynth, and it’s a synthetic liquid that’s built to mimic the effects of alcohol minus the hangover.
Sounds too good to be true, right? Well it might be, but Nutt hopes that his product will replace all alcoholic products by 2050, which sounds far away, but really isn’t because God knows we’ll all still be getting wasted every weekendÂ 40 years from now.
Unfortunately, there’s no word on if alcosynth will contain less calories than the current options we have, and alcosynth won’t likely taste any better than regular alcohol. But hey, no hangovers is definitely a win in our book.
â€œThey go very nicely into mojitos. They even go into something as clear as a Tom Collins. One is pretty tasteless, the other has a bitter taste,”Â said Nutt.
Another benefit of alcosynth is that it would allegedly help you stop blacking out.
â€œWe think the effects round out at about four or five ‘drinks’, then the effect would max out,â€ said Nutt.
Maybe this isn’t a benefit…I mean, it really depends on if you actually enjoy getting so f*cked up that you can use it as an excuse to drunk call your ex. Up to you.
The last supposed heath benefit, although it’s probably the last of your worries right now, is that in addition to not giving you hangovers, alcosynth wouldn’t damage your liver or heart, and there wouldn’t be the ability to “drink yourself to death” like there is with real alcohol.
Unfortunately, there’s no word on when this miracle juice will be available to the public, or even approved by the FDA.
â€œItâ€™s an interesting idea, but too much in its infancy at the moment for us to comment on,â€ a Department of Health spokesperson told The Independent.
Sure, David Nutt could actually be a nut and we could all be getting excited over nothing. Come 2050, we could still be drinking the same shitty Smirnoff, waking up feeling like death, and doing the same shit all over again the next weekend.
But maybe, just maybe, technology will be on our side for once. I mean, Snapchat flower crown filters are cool and all, but I think we can all agree that we’d trade that in order to wake up Saturday morning feeling amazing for once.
Nutt has voiced concerns over health regulations and funding for the reason why alcosynth may not be available in the immediate future, to which we say, hey Nutt, have you ever heard of crowd funding? We’re pretty sure the internet is willing to part with some cash in order to say goodbye to hangovers for life.