Which Burger Will Cure Your Hangover Based On Your Horoscope Sign

It’s national burger day, which means that no matter what crazy diet you may be on or how much pizza you devoured late last night, you have to get an honorary burger today. Besides, you probably have a hangover, and what better way to save your stomach then to throw it some grease and carbs?

But which burger should you get? There are oh so many options for you to choose from, so we’ve made it easy on you and matched your horoscope sign to which burger you need to stop your throbbing headache and nausea.

Aquarius: McDonald’s Big Mac

McDonald’s Big Mac just tastes like the American dream. Which is exactly what you need right now. After eating it you can go back to bed, have an actual dream, then wake up hours later and finish your fries.

Pisces: Burger King’s “Whopper”

You’re a little artistic, so you dig the fact that you can customize your Whopper your way.

Aries: Sonic Cheeseburger

You like a challenge, so instead of going to a drive-thru, you go to a drive-in, which means you have to actually attempt to get out of your car and walk into Sonic in order to get your hangover food. That’s a pretty courageous feat in itself.

Taurus: In-N-Out Cheeseburger

As a stubborn sign, you’re one of those people who is disgusted that the east coast has no In-N-Out’s. It’s a fucking abomination. Anytime you have a burger that’s not your beloved In-N-Out, you make sure to tell everyone that “this isn’t as good as In-N-Out.” Well, Taurus, go get your In-N-Out Cheeseburger today, okay? You deserve it after all those tequila shots last night.

Gemini: Wendy’s Baconator

Your split personality can’t choose between bacon and beef, so the obvious decision is to have both, duh! Kinda like how you couldn’t decide which rando to booty call last night, so you mass-snapchatted 10 dudes in your contact list.

Cancer: McDonald’s Cheeseburger

You love all fast food, which means that you know the best of the best. McDonald’s is your go-to, for car trips, hangovers, and cheap first dates. Have at it.

Leo: In-N-Out Animal Style Cheeseburger

You’re the king of the fucking jungle, so you’re going to eat like it. If you’re really hungover, you’ll probably get two. Fuck it, it’s the weekend.

Virgo: Burger King’s Cheeseburger

You pay attention to the little things, which is why you’ll really love the chargrilled taste of Burger King’s burger.

Libra: Shake Shack Burger

It’s not that you think Shake Shack’s burger is that much better than a drive-through place, it’s that you think Shake Shack will look cooler for your Snapchat story.

Scorpio: Five Guys Bacon Cheeseburger

You’ve got a taste for the finer things in life and you like being a little (or a lot) naughty, so a Five Guys bacon cheeseburger is perfect for you. It’s a bit elevated from your classic fast food chains, but it’s still greasy, meaty, and fucking delicious.

Sagittarius: Wendy’s 1/4 lb Single

You don’t like to over-eat during your hangover or you’ll probs puke, which makes Wendy’s 1/4 lb single burger a perfect little meal for you before you chug three bottles of Gatorade.

Capricorn: Whataburger’s Original Whataburger

You’re super disciplined in your healthy eating habits normally, so if you’re going to eat a burger, you’re going to have Whataburger’s Original Whataburger, which is the healthiest fast food burger according to Eat This, Not That.


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