BAD DATES: When The Guy Pretends Not To Be Broke
Have you ever been on a GODAWFUL date and NEED to tell someone all about it? I would expect so, in these times of OK Cupid, Tinder etc there are far too many opportunities for us to mismatched it the most hilarious and terrible ways. We will be featuring anecdotes of some of the most ridiculous tales of dating. Check out below
I got matched with Andrew on Happn. He seemed cute from his photos, although I was a bit skeptical due to the fact that most were slightly at a distance or blocked by sunglasses. However, he asked me to dinner at a wine/tapas bar, so I figured I would go for it because who doesn’t like free food and drinks?
I meet Andrew outside the bar and am pleasantly surprised because he actually is cute, and I had given myself low expectations. However, I am keeping my expectations lowered as I watch him navigate the wine list and attempt to pick the cheapest bottle possible. When the waiter comes back with the news that they are out of his choice, he brings out another bottle of similar taste instead. Andrew asks how much the bottle is, and when the waiter responded “50,” Andrew scans the list for something cheaper. I am left feeling pretty f***ing awkward in this dilemma, because money is not something I want to be worrying about on a first date. If it was such a concern, why didn’t he take me to somewhere less expensive? Or not get a bottle?
After this problem was (somewhat) solved, it’s time to order food. I tell Andrew that he can take charge of ordering the tapas because I like everything (which is true). He chooses three dishes and says we’ll keep a menu and see if we want more after. The food was great, but three plates really isn’t enough for two grown people. However, Andrew makes a show of saying how full he is and when he asks me if I am full also, I obviously have to lie and say yes. I can’t help but assume that he really wasn’t full, just didn’t want to pay for more food.
In addition to both of these cheapskate moves, I kept getting subtle hints from him about how money was an issue, such as him discussing his upcoming move to Brooklyn to save money. I’m pretty frugal myself, and I don’t have a problem with a guy who manages his money well, but any guy knows that girls don’t want to hear that a guy is broke on a first date, and I certainly don’t want to discuss your money problems with you as you attempt to spend as little on our date as possible.
When the check arrives, I offer to pay the tip (which I NEVER do), because I felt awkward. I didn’t think he would say yes… but he did, and even made a joke about “Just the tip.” Which would have been almost funny if I wasn’t so appalled at the situation…
After begrudgingly shelling out cash for the tip and attempting to avert my eyes from the check as much as possible (which I swear he was trying to show me, like “look I spent 90$, hook up with me!”), I was ready to GTFO.
When we reached the subway stop, Andrew, apparently clueless, tried to kiss me. I did the casual turn of the head, and ran to my apartment as fast as possible. Hint to guys on dating apps: If you don’t want to spend money on a first date, don’t invite a girl to dinner in the first place. Ever heard of grabbing a drink? Or a coffee?
If you have your own story of a terrible date please send over to firstname.lastname@example.org, with the subject “BAD DATES” and state whether you’d like to be anonymous or not. We encourage women of all sexualities to submit.