So…You Hooked Up With Your First Frat Guy

As a freshman going into college, fraternities and sororities are almost like mythical and magical creatures, unicorns in a sense. You’ve seen them in movies and TV shows, you’ve heard the good things, and the bad things (heavy focus on the bad if you’ve been following news sources recently), but you’ve never experienced them for yourself. As much as you don’t want to admit it, you’re pretty excited for your first frat party. I mean, will it be as crazy as Project X? Will you meet a hottie class-clown who’s secretly a sweetheart like Cappie from Greek? Are there going to be endless bottles of Grey Goose flowing your way at all times while some up and coming DJ spins banging tracks till sunrise?

Well first off, I can tell you that you’ll probably be drinking Vlad or Crown Rus instead of Grey Goose. Maybe Svedka if you’re lucky. But, you still will probably have a good (or at least an okay) time at your first frat banger. In fact, you might have so good of a time that you drink way too many cups of sticky-sweet jungle juice and end up going upstairs with a dude that lives in the fraternity house.

When you wake up to the smell of stale beer and bad decisions in a twin bed wearing a Hawaiian lei, you might feel like you’ve made the first mistake of your college career. To be honest, you probably have…but don’t freak out because I can guarantee you that it certainly won’t be the last.

As you cautiously step over the boxes of Natty and dirty clothes strewn on the floor, you make your way out of the house and glance back at the letters to see which fraternity you shacked at. What’s the name of that letter with a circle and a line through the center? Ugh, whatever, back to the dorm before somebody sees you.

Maybe you don’t even remember the name of the dude that you just hooked up with, or maybe you guys had a really great drunken conversation while Diplo played in the background and you’re kind of crushing on him. Either way, there are a couple things you should know about hooking up with a frat guy before you end up being the doe-eyed, naive freshman that ends up making a fool of herself.

He Probably Doesn’t Have Your Number

If you ended up shacking with him, you probably never even gave him your number. Unless this guy really gets no pussy, it’s pretty unlikely that he’s going to stalk Facebook and Instagram to somehow get in contact with you. The next time you’ll see him will probably be at a day-drink where he’s pouring beer from a balcony into one of his brother’s mouths below.  If he did manage to get your number, he’ll probably text you next time his frat is throwing down. Maybe he’ll hit you up at 2 am after the bars close next Thursday, but it’s very unlikely he’s going to text you at 3 pm asking how your day is going.

You’re One of Many

I’m not saying all frat guys are womanizing a**holes, but they’re certainly not celibate. If you were a dude and had hundreds of half-naked chicks getting drunk at your house every night, you’d get laid a lot too. Sure, maybe you felt like you guys had a real connection when you scored that last cup in beer pong, but he probably had a similar connection with some sorority chick the night before, and is going to have another “connection” next weekend. Don’t get mad about it, get even. College dudes know how to juggle multiple girls at a time (or at least they try to). The thing about this is, it’s way easier for a girl to do it. If you don’t want to get attached to one dude, there’s nothing stopping you from having your own little harem.

He’s Not Your Prince Charming

As a freshman, a fraternity guy might seem like the big man on campus and totally boyfriend material. Maybe it’s because he’s your first college hook-up, but you really want him to like you. Here’s a tip: don’t. The reason you’re thinking this guy is great is because you don’t actually know him all that well. Do you really fantasize about dating a guy that lives in a frat house? Does sleeping in a twin bed with another full grown human being sound comfortable? Maybe it’s the fact that his roommate gets to watch you have morning sex that gets you going? Perhaps it’s the never faltering waft of alcohol from the basement? All house jokes aside, a dude at his peak of his fraternity lifestyle is not the type of guy you want to date. I’m sure he’s fun as f*ck, hot, and probably has his wall street career laid out for him by his dad when he graduates…but that doesn’t mean he’s looking for a girlfriend. Hook-up with all the frat guys you want, but if they’re not trying to wife you, please don’t be insulted (or worse, try to change his mind).

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