Are Wall Street Dudes Banging 100 Chicks a Year?
We all know what dating is. You know, like taking a girl to the drive in movie and maybe stealing a kiss at the end of the night? Fantasies like these go right on the shelf with your Disney movies and your grandmother’s tales of ‘true love.’
It really seems like the more our generation tries to “find true love” the more we send our 20-something counterparts into a black abyss of “hooking up” instead. Case in point? Dating apps.
Obviously, the idea started with traditional dating sites and mushroomed into the lower-budget, youth-friendly apps such as Tinder, Hinge, and Happn. However, the more and more dates I seem to go on, the less likely I’m convinced that I’ll ever meet my future husband on a dating app (not that I’m necessarily looking for one anyways.)
Nancy Jo Sales, Vanity Fair journalist, dug deeper into how dating apps and hook-up culture are affecting 20-somethings, specifically in New York.
One of the subjects she speaks to is a Wall Street worker and Ivy League grad, who I’m sure gets enough swipes on Tinder from girls seeking a position as a trophy wife, and that’s if he wasn’t good looking. He explains that:
“Guys view everything as a competition,” he elaborates with his deep, reassuring voice. “Who’s slept with the best, hottest girls?” With these dating apps, he says, “you’re always sort of prowling. You could talk to two or three girls at a bar and pick the best one, or you can swipe a couple hundred people a day—the sample size is so much larger. It’s setting up two or three Tinder dates a week and, chances are, sleeping with all of them, so you could rack up 100 girls you’ve slept with in a year.”
As a girl, you probably want to recoil at this statement in horror–what a sleaze! But really, is he pressuring these girls into sex? Is he making false promises about a future together? Probably not. If I know anything about the average Tinder date (and I do), I can tell you how this guy’s dates probably go. He probably meets them at a trendy cocktail bar in SoHo, doesn’t blush at the $20 concoction (or five), and when he finally closes the tab he asks the chick if she wants to go back for some wine at his place.
It’s at this point that the girl is presented with a choice. Sure, this choice might be alcohol fueled, but it’s still her choice. If this guy really scoring 100 chicks a year, it’s doubtful that he’s going to want to bang a girl who’s drunk out of her mind. This girl that goes home with this guy knows what she’s doing, or if she doesn’t, she should. This girl knows that this guy isn’t in love with her; maybe she thinks that she can change him eventually, maybe she just wants sex, or maybe she wants to tell her roomie how she banged a hottie that works at J.P. Morgan.
The truth is, if a girl wanted to do the same thing, it would be 100x easier.
The thing is, girls don’t want to do this. Girls are about quality, not quantity. Your girlfriends aren’t impressed that you’ve kissed ten dudes this week, they’re impressed if the guy you’re talking to professed his love and bought you a yacht.
Justin Garcia, research scientist at Indiana University, says that there have been two sexual revolutions in the dating world. “The first was around 10,000 to 15,000 years ago, in the agricultural revolution, when we became less migratory and more settled, and the second major transition is with the rise of the Internet.”
Hey, maybe after the first sexual revolution it seemed like everything was going to sh*t (just like it does now), and things turned out okay. Maybe we’ll stop digging ourselves into a forever-single hole and actually settle down (and delete Tinder off our phones) someday? Honestly, at this point all we can do is hope. But, if you ever feel like you’re out with a date like the Wall Street dude described earlier, don’t forget that you’re in charge and every decision you make should be yours and yours alone.