9 Hair & Makeup Trends That Scream “Suburbs”

Beauty trends are in a weird place right now.

Half the girls you follow on IG are probably spending three hours doing their makeup, and yet if you walk the streets of NYC, you’ll notice all the cool girls are doing more of a minimalist vibe. If they’re not rocking a no-makeup look, they’re going bold, with a bright color streaked across their eyes messily or a non-traditional lip color — not to make them look prettier, but to show their style.

In fact, if you’re visiting NYC from the suburbs, you should know this: if you try too hard, people will immediately realize you’re not from here.

Regardless, if you’re not trying to look like you just took the Long Island Rail Road straight from your parents house in the suburbs to meet a rando Instagram promoter at Lavo, don’t rock any of these looks.

READ ALSO: You’re Better Off Buying Cheap Versions of These Beauty Products

1. “Tousled Waves”


I put tousled waves in quotes because I don’t mean wavy hair. Hell, I have wavy hair.

But the thing is, my hair is naturally wavy. I take a shower, let it air dry, and that’s how my hair ends up. If you’re spending an hour with a curling iron to achieve the perfect beach waves, that’s another story.

Everyone can tell you didn’t wake up like that, and instead you spent way too much time on your hair. Skip this look next time and embrace your natural hair, you’ll look way cooler, I promise

READ ALSO: Make Fun Of Halle Berry’s Hair Now, But You’ll Be Copying It Later

2. Overdone Shimmery Eye

Glitter is fun, and if you don’t like glitter you’re a liar. But covering your entire eyelid with glitter will make people think you’re either an insane beauty blogger or that you just lost abeauty pageant. Tragic.

3. Huge Strip Lashes

Experts say false lashes are over, but the lash extension trend seems to just be beginning. The difference is most girls with lash extensions get them so they can confidently rock a no-makeup look without feeling insecure. If you’re buying the huge strip lashes from your local drugstore and placing them on top of an overdone shimmer eyeshadow look, you might get mistaken for an aging drag queen, or worse, a reality star, which is probs not the look you’re going for.

4. Colored Eyeshadow In a Gradientgradient_eyeshadow_tragic_galore

Remember when your fave drugstore brand launched colored eyeshadow palettes that were designed for different eye types and had four colors for you to blend across your eyes? Yeah, chill on that for now unless you want to look like you still shop at Claire’s.

5. Pinterest Hairstyles


As a golden rule, you should probably avoid any up-do that takes more than 10 minutes to do. Messy buns and high ponies are chill, but leave that Lauren Conrad inspired braid look back where it belongs — back at home with your Abercrombie jean shorts.

READ ALSO: The Signs As 2000s Mall Stores

6. Too Much Bronzer

Have you noticed that there no longer seems to be a competition to be the tannest girl in the room? We wonder if tanning salons have noticed a drop in revenue since the Jersey Shore era. But some of the suburban areas still seem to be on that Snooki-glow grind. It’s 2017, let’s try to be more Cinderella and less Pumpkin, kay? Same goes for your makeup. A subtle bronze goes a long way.

7. Overly Aggressive Contour


Just because it looks good on Instagram doesn’t mean it looks good in real life. Unless you’re posing for a photo shoot or debuting as a news anchor, you don’t need this much contour or makeup in general. In fact, even if you are posing for a photo or video shoot, you still don’t need this much contour. Let your face breathe!

8. Ombré

Finally, this skunk-inspired hair trend has fallen from grace. Don’t get this dye job done unless you want to look like you drove straight to the city in your mom’s old minivan to see the Empire State Building.

9. Anything “Gossip Girl” Inspired


Listen guys, I know “Gossip Girl” was cool when it aired in 2007, but unfortunately New York City girls don’t dress that way anymore. In fact, it’s debatable whether they ever did in the first place.

Try your best to let it go. If you waltz into the city rocking a Blair-worthy headband you’re going to get confused for someone who actually is wearing a school uniform, or just a prep — which is about as cool as a popped collar nowadays.

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