You Can Now Pay To Join The Mile High Club With This Airline Tour
Having sex on a flight is kind of like sex on the beach, it’s romantic and “spicing it up” in theory, but in reality its awkward and shitty.
Remember that scene in Just Married where they try to have sex only to enter a bathroom that has previously been destroyed by a guy who ate Mexican food and they hold their noses while basically elbowing each other every two seconds? That’s how real airplane sex goes, or at least “regular” airplane sex.
If you’re looking to get your freak on in the air with a little more luxury, Flamingo Airlines is offering a “Romantic Adventure” package for lovers who want a short and sweet airplane ride with bae for the sole purpose of joining the mile high club.
Unfortunately, Flamingo Airlines is based out of Cincinnati, so it might not exactly be convenient for you and your boo to take advantage of this sex-in-the-air mechanism. Possibly more unfortunate, the cost of the 60 minute ride is $475. While $475 isn’t a ton when you compare it to your average flight, let’s just remember that this flight isn’t taking you anywhere and it’s only an hour long.
Plus, nowhere on the website does it actually say you can have sex on the ride. We have a feeling this is one of those whole Hitachi Magic Wand things where they don’t explicitly say it’s for sex, but we all know the real deal. But then again, how much would it suck to shell out $500 only to have some angry stewardess yell at you while you’re trying to get your freak on?
This sounds like a fun thing to do if your father is the inventor of toaster strudel or if you have a sugar daddy that’s down to pay for date night, but if not this seems like a bit of a rip-off. After all, isn’t the whole fun in joining the mile high club that you have to be sneaky about it? What would having sex on an airplane be if you didn’t have to inhale the scent of toilet cleaner or awkwardly turn on the hand dryer every two seconds? Plus, if you go an a real airplane ride, you’ll likely end your trip somewhere way cooler than Ohio.