13 Times Rihanna Gave Zero F*cks in 2016
Rihanna never gives a fuck, but this year she really DGAF.
From curbing her boyfriend on live TV after he told the world he loved her to designing $80 sandals, here’s a list of all the times Rihanna DGAF this year.
1. When Rihanna released a song about making a relationship work with her ex
It seems crazy now, but people really freaked out when the news first leaked that Rihanna and Drake had filmed a music video for a mysterious new song called “Work.”
After all, the last we’d heard, Drake was still heartbroken after things didn’t work out with Rihanna the last time — had something changed, or were they just trolling us?
Oh, what a wild ride we were all in for.
2. When Rihanna released an $80 slider
They weren’t anything special, and yet we still spent our money on them anyway.
It’s like Rihanna knows us better than we know ourselves.
3. Literally Everything About ANTI
Have you heard ANTI?
Then you already know.
Since Samsung paid for the whole thing, Rihanna got to do whatever she wanted and she took advantage of it.
With the exception of “Work,” she didn’t put out any songs that sounded like a traditional Rihanna banger, and when Tidal fucked up her album release, she shrugged it off and gave it away for free herself.
Because Samsung had already paid for it and she was gonna get certified platinum within the next 14 hours either way.
4. Every time she twerked up against her ex
But specifically when they performed it at the BRIT awards because that was the first time we saw it happen.
5. When she released an expensive pair of sunglasses after only working on them for one day
In May, Rihanna announced she’d collaborated with Dior to design a special $840 pair of sunglasses that she only spent a whole day thinking about.
Here’s what she said:
“The process was pretty seamless. I spent a day at Dior with their eyewear design team. I started by looking through all the archives to see what they’ve done in the past, then got acquainted with all the new materials. I literally sat there and drew and drew until I was happy with the design, and the team illustrated it for me right then and there. We picked materials and colors that same day, and after that it was a matter of weeks before I saw the first prototype.”
6. When she fell off that swan pool float
Who cares about falling off a swan pool float when you successfully managed not to spill a single drop of wine?
Rih fell off her swan float to save her wine!🍷😩😂😂 (no sound)🚫 pic.twitter.com/Z7W0u17Hyg
— Rihanna’s Snapchat (@RihSnapchat) June 1, 2016
7. When her friend wanted to take some drunk, no-makeup photos
I think I speak for the majority of women out there when I say the idea of a makeup-free bathing suit photo shoot is a nightmare — especially if I knew the photos were going to end up all over the Internet.
Well, that’s why I’m not Rihanna. Because Riri don’t cur. Probably because this is what Riri looks without wakeup.
8. When she curbed her maybe boyfriend on live television
9. When she got a shark tattooed on her ankle
Right after Drake dared to try kissing Rihanna at the VMAs, Rihanna showed Drake she was sorry for curbing him by getting a tattoo of a shark on her ankle.
Why a shark?
Because Drake and Rihanna had just gone on an aquarium date and she’s apparently sentimental as fuck.
As it turned out, just over a month later, Drake and Rihanna broke up, which provides us with an excellent lesson we already knew but somehow seem to forget time and time again: never get a tattoo that reminds you of your boyfriend unless you’re 100% sure that when you inevitably break up you won’t fly into a rage or start taking shots of vodka and emotion like a soft ass chump whenever you catch a glimpse of it in a mirror.
10. When she designed a $4,000 pair of shoes that literally nobody besides Rihanna could wear
When Rihanna first designed these belted boots, the world wasn’t ready to embrace boots that were also assless chaps, but now, almost a year later, thanks to Kendall Jenner, civilians are now ready to embrace its inner bad girl.
11. When she wore a Hillary Clinton t-shirt that was actually a Rihanna shirt
Election day is as good a time as any for celebrities to prove how political and woke they can be, unless you’re Rihanna, and then it’s just another chance to remind the world how awesome you are.
12. When Rihanna shaded all her exes hard on Instagram
For a hot second there, it looked like Drake and Rihanna were going to make things work, but then rumors started flying about how they were both seeing other people and before you know it Rihanna posted a meme about how much all her ex’s suck, which seemed too timely to be accidental.
13. When she designed a backpack that was also a coat
This confusing bomber backpack can be yours for a mere $450!
And just in case you were wondering, you can’t actually wear it as a jacket as the sleeves don’t work, so it’s just a backpack that looks like a jacket.