Dudes Are Actually Venmoing Their Tinder Dates for Half the Bill
Most people regard Venmo is a savior when it comes to taking the awkwardness out of splitting drinks with friends. But as it turns out, it’s also become a way for guys to weasel their way out of paying for a first date.
The New York Post looked into this phenomenon today. And a quick poll of the Galore newsroom reveals that yes, this is a thing that’s really happening.
The way it works: after a perfectly good date, a girl will be on her merry way home when suddenly she feels a buzz in her purse. Lo and behold, it’s a Venmo request for anything from a $3 well drink to a $50 dinner bill. And this is all without any warning from the dude, who will have paid the bill in full at the restaurant without any drama or questions.
There are a few things wrong with this scenario. For one thing, sending a Venmo request is kind of an aggro move no matter who’s doing it. It’s the digital equivalent of sticking your hand out and demanding money from someone. It’s way more chill to just ask for the money via text, after which the debtor will take the hint and send it to you, no Venmo request needed.
And secondly, a guy acting like he’s going to pay in full and then asking for half the bill via iPhone later on is super cowardly and shady. If you want to go Dutch, just say so at the date.
Also, if you do want to go Dutch, you shouldn’t get the benefit of looking like a gentleman inside the restaurant, only to low-key cheap out afterward.
And worst of all: if I was on a date and the guy paid the check but then dropped me an “on second thought…” Venmo request, I would have to conclude that after he thought about it, he didn’t really think the date went well after all. It just makes it seem like the guy wasn’t that into the date and wanted a partial refund.
And by the way, I know what some dudes reading this are thinking: if you’re a modern woman then why shouldn’t you be able to pay your way? But an unwillingness to pay isn’t the problem — it’s the sneakiness and unwillingness to say out loud, “Can we split the bill?”
A lot of people would say it’s awkward to split it that early on anyway — which is why this Venmo situation arises in the first place. No one wants to ask for a bill split, so instead, they’ll passive-aggressively send a Venmo request.
But here’s the thing: if a guy can’t afford to take a girl out on a dinner date, he shouldn’t do it. It’s pretty simple. There are so many cheaper options. Find a bar with $2 PBRs and call it a day. The girl will probably offer to buy a round anyway.
Either way, if you’re on a date with a dude and he pulls this shit, get the hell out. You don’t need that kind of pettiness in your life.