BAWSE KITTY’S KORNER: You can’t just go 50/50

Bawse Kitty is a lifestyle contributor who writes about sex, dating, being a woman, and more. This is her column, Kitty’s Korner.

When Drake dropped the video for “I’m Upset,” (aka “50/50”) it went viral on all social media platforms.

I saw a few clips on Twitter, and recognized a few faces from a TV show I used to love when I was younger. I had to take a walk memory lane and watch some re-runs of “Degrassi: The Next Generation” (luckily, you can watch every episode on YouTube for free). 

I took it upon myself to buy a tub of Rum Raisin ice cream and champagne, and then I got busy binging. I really started getting into it during the middle of season 2m when Manny decides she wants to step up her style and take it to the next level.

I feel like a lot of women who watched “Degrassi” resonated with Manny at this moment. I personally resonated with Manny not wanting to be considered cute, adorable, or sweet in the eyes of her crush. I didn’t flat iron my hair until freshman year. I was about 14 years old and girls my age had been getting their hair permed and pressed for years at that time.

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I guess some black moms didn’t like to flat iron daily and instead, opted for the braiding route – which was cool until I wanted to become active on the dating scene. I wanted to be hot! Not that braids aren’t hot, but during that era – I needed the straight look. My hair was already long, so flat ironing would just add on to my confidence. I adopted a bow/headband into my everyday wardrobe, and I started to feel a little bit more confident – but, it wasn’t enough.

I went to the mall one weekend, and there was a store called Delia’s that I had already scoped out in catalogs. I decided on a super tight shirt (that wasn’t necessarily cropped, but showed stomach) and super tight skinny jeans. The following Monday at school, I donned my new fit and I started gaining the attention that I had desired and wanted.

A lot of the upperclassmen started to call me a hoe, even though I wasn’t even having sex yet. But baby, that walk, paired with my new clothes, just made me feel a different way – and it showed. Everyone was hating and “slut-shaming” me for no reason, similar to Manny’s female peers at her high school. She dealt with things similarly to me.

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I wasted a lot of time on guys during high school, and I also spent a lot of time defending myself. I still find myself doing that to this day. I really advocate for women, girls, and whomever to do whatever they please, as well as wear whatever makes them feel their best.

On the show, “Degrassi,” Manny’s best friend, Emma, started to lowkey judge her off the way she was dressed and the attention she was gaining. I’ve had friendships where girls judged me on the low for being a dancer or for posting twerk videos, but it all comes down to minding your business – as long as nobody is in harm’s way.

Everybody is different, and I loved how Manny really wanted to push the limit to elevate herself and her look. She didn’t care what anyone had to say – she was looking to be comfortable in her skin by any means necessary.

As the seasons progressed Manny went through a lot of hardships. She was exposed with a nude video leaking, her father called her a slut for wanting to get a boob job, and everyone in her school deemed her a hoe for the way she dressed – yet still, she stayed strong and true to herself.

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Manny’s resilience was always very admirable to me. While an outfit shouldn’t be the only way for you to boost your confidence (you can work out, try new clubs in your city, spend time with a baller lol) it is a great analogy to use for the moral of the story.

Say or do whatever it is that you want to try and take yourself to the next level. Don’t be afraid to take risks. People will always have something to say no matter what you do, so just enjoy your life!

Gimme More Dating

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