How to leave the f*ckboys behind in 2018 according to a mental health expert
Every January 1st, we all recite the mantra “new year, new me.” And when we push the reset button to forget about the dirty laundry of our lives, getting over our awful exes is usually our number one priority.
But pushing these bad boys out for good is a difficult challenge, especially when you’re hopelessly attracted to their conniving charm. Luckily, psychologist Dr. Danielle Forshee gave us some expert advice on how to banish the attraction to toxic dudes from your mind, for good.
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You have to gain some insight into what characteristic of the “bad boyness” attracts you the most.
Take a second to seriously ask yourself what you actually like about the dude. “Usually, we will find that it’s an emotional function that the bad boy characteristic has for us, meaning that it fulfills, very temporarily, some of the need for feeling desired and excitement,” Danielle said.
The more you analyze him, the more you’ll realize there’s no point in being with him.
All you have to do is think deeper about it and you’ll realize there’s no logical reason for being with him.
“Overall, they create a short term burst of excitement while leaving us with long term devastation,” she said.
If you decide to choose lust over love, the end result is usually catastrophic.
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If your friends can’t stand him, it only makes you want him more
We obviously know where our friends are coming from, and exactly why they hate him so much. But for some reason, despite our crystal clear view of the multiple red flags, we choose to blind ourselves and completely ignore their warnings. Danielle, however, explains the science behind this.
“When we sit in our own thoughts and emotions with someone that we crave, even if it’s not good for us, we tend to only think about the positive ways they make us feel. This is in fact a psychological mechanism,” said Danielle.
LISTEN TO YOUR FRIENDS!
They’re the only ones, besides yourself, that can pull you out of a bad situation. Tell your girls immediately after the first sign of a fuckboy’s affection.
If you really wanna date different in 2018, your friends can help you get out of the cycle.
“At this time is when your best friend needs to snap into action and start reminding you of all of the reasons why this person causes more pain than pleasure, ” Danielle said.
Your friends can easily shift your thoughts and feelings, which will influence you to crave a toxic person less, and stop acting on impulse.
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