7 Highlighters That Need To Chill The F Out
Five years ago, if an average person was told to put highlighter on their face, they’d probably wonder if it was some kind of prank or if they were going to a rave.
Today, every bitch who considers herself makeup-savvy probably owns a highlighter palette or five.
And while highlighter looks great in an iPhoneÂ selfie, it’s kind of like Instagram eyebrows in that it looks a little ridiculous in real life. I mean, maybe not ridiculous. But basically, the only thing that highlighter does for your face is make it look like you’re wearing highlighter. Sorry not sorry.
Regardless, wearing highlighter is fine if that’s your thing. But some of the highlighter palettes we’ve seen lately need to chill the fuck out.
1. This Harry Potter Palette
I love me some Harry Potter. But like, a Harry Potter highlighter palette, really? Where do any of the Harry Potter characters have any correlation to makeup and beauty products? Not to mention that this Harry Potter palette is made by a random Etsy seller. Would you trust a no-name brand if it didn’t have cute Harry Potter named colors? Probs not.
2. All of Those Rainbow Highlighters
The first rainbow highlighter made by a rando Etsy seller basically broke the internet (or Tumblr, in this case), was one thing. But obviously, because everybody wants money from the girls whose Insta-bios say “I’m really a mermaid,” tons of mainstream manufacturers started making rainbow highlighter, including Forever 21.
3. This Black Highlighter
Jeffree Star has already received tons of shit for manufacturing this black highlighter and because he’s Jeffree Star, he DGAF because it’s just making his products even more famous.
We get that it was a limited edition Halloween color and that it’s not meant for an everyday makeup look, but we just don’t understand why this was packaged as a highlighter. The beauty blogger pictured above proved that the highlighter looks amazing as an eyeshadow or even a liner, and Jeffree himself tweeted that the product could be used for the eyes as well, so why not sell it as an eyeshadow? Well, maybe Jeffree realized that bitches be crazy over highlighters and decided to capitalize on the trend?
4. This Pumpkin Spice Highlighter
The basic gods have spoken, and since Pumpkin Spice has been applied to everything from french fries to skincare products, it only made sense that someone would make a PSL-themed highlighter since all the girls hitting Starbucks on the daily are already wearing highlighter. Granted, this highlighter doesn’t actually look horrible on the skin, so maybe it’s not the worst.
5. This DIY Pizza Highlighter
If you ever thought that being a beauty blogger was stressful, which you probably didn’t, now you can confirm that it’s definitely not. Why? Because one beauty blogger had the time to turn her broken highlighter into a God damn pepperoni pizza. Who in the hell?
6. This Little Girl And Her Big Sister’s Highlighter
Nah my vanity is a MESS pic.twitter.com/MdmKK1MfM6
â€” BLACK LIVES MATTER (@DiarraDumornay) October 15, 2016
When I was living with three sisters, those bitches would borrow my clothes without asking and steal my $7 Victoria’s Secret lip gloss, but thankfully I never had any expensive (or messy) makeup like powder and highlighter. But TBH, does this cute little girl look that different from your local teen with a brand new contour kit? Tomato, tom-ah-to?
7. These Horny Highlighters
Nobody asked for this, seriously, nobody. BTW, this palette is called “Netflix and Chill.”