Why You Should Never Worry About Intimidating Men
If you’re reading this, you’re probably a boss bitch. Being the boss bitch that you are, you’ve likely had someone tell you that you’re intimidating– specifically to men. Could this be the reason why you’re single? Or the reason why you don’t get hit on as often as you’d like? Or the reason your last fuck buddy ghosted you?
It’s easy to blame yourself when your love life isn’t picture perfect. It can even be tempting to try to change in order to be the “type” of girl that guys are instantly drawn to. But whether guys are actually intimidated by you, or your BFF just said that to make you feel better about the last loser who wasn’t worth your time, being intimidating towards men is never a bad thing.
Here’s why.
The Right Guys Are Never Intimidated
If you’re approachable and don’t have “resting bitch face,” maybe you’ll get hit on more, but the thing is, you’ll get hit on by more assholes. Quality always trumps quantity. Would you rather get hit on by 10 douchebags or one genuinely interesting guy?
Granted, some guys are so douche-y that they’ll still think they have a chance at you, but I digress.
Fuckboys may not approach you because they can tell that you’re smarter than them. You know their game, you won’t be afraid to call them out, and you won’t fall for the bullshit sweet talk that they try feeding to every other girl.
If a guy has honest intentions and is sure of himself (a.k.a. doesn’t have self esteem issues), he will have no problem approaching you. In fact, he’ll probably enjoy the challenge.
You Can Take Your Pick
Even if you love the fact that every other idiot guy at the bar doesn’t hit on you, you may worry that the guys you actually are interested in may pass you by. If that’s the case, you’ve seriously underestimated guy’s egos.
“A man tends to look for not only a woman he’s attracted to, but also the woman he thinks he’s got a shot at,” Julie Ferman, professional matchmaker, says. “If a guy doesn’t think he can win at something, he’s much less likely to play… So, especially if she is interested and attracted to him, she should always let her eyes, her smile, and her body language say so for her. Usually that’s really all the ‘effort’ it takes.”
If you’re interested in a guy and think he doesn’t know it, all you have to do is bat your lashes and eye-fuck him, seriously. If he’s not taking that hint, he might be taken or just not into you.
You Don’t Have To Meet Guys The Traditional Way
In fact, fuck all these examples using bars or clubs as the place where you need to meet men. If you meet a guy in a setting where not every dude is trying to get laid, you’ll have a way better shot at meeting a quality dude in a no-pressure way.
You may feel intimidating when you’re sitting at a table at the club with your six-inch spiked Jeffrey Campbells, but I’m sure you look much less intimidating when you’re at the grocery store, or at the end of yoga class.
A guy who approaches you during the day at a non-drinking event not only has balls, but there’s a good chance he’s a higher caliber guy than the creeps who are getting drunk and grabbing random asses at the pub. Plus, if you decide to strike up a conversation with the cute guy at Starbucks, it doesn’t have to seem like you’re “hitting on him.” It just seems like you’re an awesome chick that had something to say.
The Bottom Line
Whether you’re actually intimidating or not, there’s always some quality that you’ll feel you need to have in order to impress someone, specifically men. Perhaps you’ll wish you were thinner, or curvier, or quieter, or more outgoing, or kinkier, or more into indie-rock. But the thing is, when you find someone who’s really the right person for you, he won’t want you to change unless he’s pushing you to be a better person. And as far as we know, being a better person doesn’t mean being any less of a boss bitch. Do you really want to date a lame dude who’s scared of you anyway? No, you don’t. So keep being as intimidating as you want.
