11 Signs He’s Not Manly Enough To Be Your Boo
We have been evolving in our gender roles very heavily since the days of Cavemen and the days of women being restricted to careers as home-makers. But, is it really such a crime that I want a guy that’s reminiscent of a caveman? Maybe not in his intelligence levels; but in his beard, burly biceps, and rough behavior in the bedroom– yes please! Unfortunately, it seems that guys I meet have some tendencies more feminine than my own… So, I have decided to craft a list of “no-no’s” for potential suitors…
1. He uses the elliptical at the gym
Unless you have a knee issue or other medical restriction, go back over to the weight room and the treadmills with the rest of the men.
2. He’s a vegetarian
Animals are cute and all, but how am I supposed to house this steak burrito bowl if you’re glaring at me from behind your tofu tacos?
3. The last time he tied a knot was in boy scouts
The plus side is that if he was a boy scout, he probably knows how to tie a damn good knot. The bad side is that with his attitude, he’s probably not looking to tie you up.
4. He can fit into your pants
As if we needed another reason to feel fat? Isn’t that what guys are for? Making us feel little and easy to toss around?
5. He needs a chaser
This might be a problem considering most of our fridges consist of three things: milk, water, and vodka (and maybe that juice cleanse you’ve been attempting this week). If he really needs to wash down his tequila shot with something, maybe he needs a tampon too?
6. He doesn’t know how to operate a grill
I get it, us girls are supposed to make you a sandwich…fine. But if we’re supposed to be whizzes at cooking, you better be able to make me a banging hamburger (bonus points if you grill with your shirt off).
7. He has two or more cats
It still baffles me that when my mom met my dad, he had three cats. Three. F*cking. Cats. He was essentially a crazy cat lady-man in his mid-twenties. I’m not sure what the hell my mom was thinking, but if I met a dude with this many cats I would be very concerned…I’d rather him be interested in my pussy than his.
8. His Instagram consists of all selfies
Unless he’s a professional model, there is no excuse for this. Guys’ Instagrams are supposed to be like all men; boring, pointless, and having no cohesion whatsoever. If he has a carefully curated Instagram with photos of his outfits and inspirational quotes, run.
9. He uses more emojis than you do
We all know that most guys only use emojis when texting a chick. After all, what is flirting without the winky face? However, if you find that he is out-doing you in his use of emojis, you may want to reconsider.
10. He takes longer to get ready than you do
If your dude is into style, awesome. But regardless, he should still be able to roll out of bed and look sexy. What could he really be doing in the bathroom for that long? Applying makeup? Yeah…I hope not.
11. You have to initiate sex
Of course, a dude loves when a girl is the one who suggests sex. But, c’mon, if a guy isn’t trying to f*ck me all the time I’m actually going to be concerned that I’m doing something wrong. I’ve had girls come to me for advice because their man thinks they’re “crazy” for wanting sex all the time. If your dude is doing that? You might not have yourself a man after all…