Relax, You Probably Didn’t Get ‘Ghosted’
In 2016, you don’t fall in love. You find bae, then you Netflix and chill, then you get ghosted.
In fact, in a survey done by Plenty of Fish, 80% of 800 North Americans aged 18-33 have reported being ghosted. Woah, 80% is a big f*cking number. Are that many people really having their partners completely disappear on them like Casper?
If you look up “ghosted” on Urban Dictionary, this is the second definition you will find (the first definition has something to do with Patrick Swayze’s film, Ghost, for some silly reason):
“A term used among women to describe when a man (or woman) they have been seeing for a while stops taking their calls and answering their texts. These actions are usually preceded by many a broken promise to “hang out,” “have a drink or two,” or “catch up” on the part of the Ghoster. The Ghostee is left wondering whether the person that was just inside of them two weeks ago is now alive or dead. Neither can be definitively proven.”
While this definition is pretty accurate, in our current wishy-washy dating world, it can still be unclear. Determining if you’re being ghosted is a lot like determining if you can call a casual dating thing a “break-up” when you’re not actually official with the guy.
Ghosting happens all the time, because in a world where many of us are scared of feelings, we’re horrible at confronting our own. Not to mention, our current technology-based communication makes it way easier to simply “stop responding,” rather than explain to our current slam piece that we’re just not feeling it anymore.
If you’re a victim of ghosting, we’re so sorry. It happens to the best of us, or 80% of us. But if you’re the ghost yourself, try to work on being upfront and honest with your relationships. After all, karma is a bitch, and one day you’re probably going to be on the other side of the ghosting wondering where you went wrong.
For all the victims of ghosting out there, please stand up! But also, stop being so dramatic. If you had a drunken one night stand and the guy never responded to your “that was fun ;)” text, you weren’t ghosted. If you met a cute guy on your spring break trip and hooked up all week but never heard from him once you landed back in Atlanta, you weren’t ghosted.
The key phrase in the above definition of ghosted is “been seeing for a while.” As much as it sucks, there are times when you should expect communication from a date or hook-up, and other times when you should just suck it up and accept that some things are better one and done. You may be left wondering, and while you have the right to know in a longer term relationship, sometimes, you’re better off not knowing why he never called. Accept that it’s just his loss, ladies!