Let’s Pour One Out For Every Dude Who’s Scared Of Feelings
There are two personas that every male wants to fall into. The role of the “player” or the role of the “good guy.” If a dude wants to be a player; he prides himself on the amount of girls he’s slept with, he takes it as a compliment when a girl calls him a douchebag, and he probably Tinders like it’s nobodies business. If a guy wants to be known as a “good guy” he tries to apologize to the girls he fucks over and he tries to warn girls he’s “not looking for anything serious” before sleeping with them.
As girls, sometimes we get fucked over by the douchebag, and we tell ourselves we should’ve known better. Sometimes we get fucked over by the good guy, and we wonder where we went wrong. But the type of guy that we get fucked over by the most? The guy who’s “scared.”
I put “scared” in quotation marks, because sometimes he knows that he’s afraid, and he plays it up, as if he’s the victim. But, sometimes he doesn’t know he’s afraid, and he bolts without even realizing why he’s doing it. Congratulations man, you’re not an asshole, you’re not a douchebag, you’re not a player…you’re just a pussy. And if your girl wasn’t busy crying, she’d be laughing at you…or maybe she’d be genuinely worried?
Men may pride themselves on being stronger than us, or braver than us, but at the end of the day it appears that men are just as afraid of heartbreak as we are…if not more.
If anybody tells you that they’re happy that they got their heartbroken, they are lying. Sure, maybe they found a better lover afterwards or maybe they escaped an unhealthy relationship, but at that moment when their heart broke? And in the mourning process after? Heartbreak makes no exceptions, and it can leave a lasting impression on anyone and everyone. It’s natural to be afraid.
The difference is in the way that females and males are afraid of the beast that is heartbreak. I know girls who successfully avoid relationships, who ditch guys after one night stands for the sole purpose of not getting attached. They can do this for as long as they want, but deep down, they know that at least one of the reasons for their behavior is that they’re still mourning the love that they lost, and living in fear of being broken again.
Boys have been living (and loving) recklessly for much longer than girls, they do it “better” and with less judgement. But, when they find a girl that means more to them than their usual one night stand, they don’t necessarily realize it at first. Booty calls turn into hangover breakfasts, that turn into sober dinners, and suddenly; the guy realizes that he’s on the edge of a relationship. Instead of acting like a rational person would and discussing it with their partner, he flees in the other direction with little to no warning.
Not only does this leave the guy (eventually) lonely for the girl that he actually really got along with, it leaves the girl confused, upset, and possibly heartbroken. And for what? So that the boy can protect his precious heart that is even more sacred than his fragile ego?
The difference between girls and guys is that girls are smart enough to realize that if you want to protect yourself from feelings, you can. The thing is, by protecting yourself from heartbreak, you’re also protecting yourself from an amazing relationship or, dare I say, love.
Maybe he’s not afraid of love, maybe he’s afraid of relationships. He wants to be a “free bird” and to not be “wifed up.” When will people realize that if you’re in a good (and healthy) relationship, you’re never going to feel tied down and/or whipped (unless you’re into that sort of thing)?
Sometimes, having a partner who know exactly what you like in bed and is down to come over and fuck mid-afternoon is way better than fucking a blacked-out club chick every night. Sometimes, having someone to text when you’ve had a bad day is way better than having ten people to text when you want to get laid. Sometimes, allowing yourself to be vulnerable and open is way better than being scared.