10 Memes Every Douchey Girl Will Relate To
1. When You Have To Pretend To Be Classy On a Date
Despite all the progress we’ve made in women’s sexuality, you still go through the internal battle on a first date of deciding if you’re going to be real with the guy or pretend you’re cute and innocent and totally unconcerned with matters of the D. After all, sometimes it’s fun to play along naively until you get a guy back to his bedroom and rock his world.
2. When He Says, “I’m Not Like Other Guys”
It’s cute when boys think that they can win you over with their sweet words. But if you’re a f-girl, the more a dude tries to sweet talk you, the more you want to run in the other direction. Why don’t we just make things easier by throwing a muzzle on the boys with nice bodies and using them for what they’re good for: their Ds.
3. When He Asks “When Can I See You Again?”
Oh honey, that was a one night stand, didn’t you know that?
4. When You Cancel On a Dude Because You’re “Busy”
You know when you tell a guy you’re super busy, but you’re really just busy with another dude? Or perhaps you’re busy trying to sort out the mess of your dating life in which you’re seeing two Matts, three Todds, and a Billy and Bobby. Whatever, d is the d.
5. When You Finally Get That Good D
You don’t start tripping over the average dude, but we’ve all been victims of getting dickstracted after getting some great d. Suddenly, everything you see is d-shaped, you’re turned on all the time, and as soon as you get a drink in you you’re drunk dialing that dude for a booty call.
6. When He Starts Getting Clingy
In the wise words of Kesha, “I’m not trying to be rude or crude, I just wanted one thing from you and you got confused.”
7. When You Have a New Boy Toy
Ah, the “honeymoon” phase with a new buddy. You both can’t get enough of each other and end up doing it like rabbits for an entire week. It’s all fun and games until you wake up one day and realize that you can’t stand the sight of him, then you have to come up with some utter bullshit excuse as to why you can’t see him anymore. That, or you could just ghost him.
8. When You Don’t Have a New Boy Toy
Who says you need a man? You don’t. In fact, your vibrator does a much better job most of the time. Sure, your dildo can’t buy you drinks or feed you pizza, but at least it hits the spot every time and always lets you finish first.
9. When Your Roommate Asks Why You’re Dressed Up on a Monday Night
Whoever said that fun was reserved for the weekends clearly didn’t have their priorities straight. A girl has needs, and there’s nothing wrong with going out for a drink (or eight) on a Monday night just to break some hearts.
10. When You Start To Feel Guilty For Your Sins
Whether you’re on a walk of shame or feeling bad about simultaneously seeing five different dudes, all of that seems to melt away when you look in the mirror. You won’t be young and beautiful forever, may as well live it up while you can.