6 Girls Share Their Pro Tips For Giving Epic Road Head
Full disclaimer, I’ve never given road head — and it’s not because I haven’t wanted to, but because I’m a scaredy cat.
Consequently, over the years, road head has become an almost mythic sex act in my book, but unlike say getting Eiffel Towered by two hotties at a house party — which by the way sounds awful, but whatever, follow your bliss — road head at least has the illusion of seeming easily attainable.
All you need is a bae and a car.
And yet, I’ve never done it.
In fact, most of my sexually adventurous friends who have had boned in a variety of exotic locations like on a blow-up bed in the middle of a party and inside the trunk of a car, haven’t given road head either.
Why? Because even though road head is theoretically easy to do, it’s also kinda dangerous and what girl in her right mind would willingly risk getting herself into a car crash over a blow job?
Still, there’s something about road head that just seems fun, so I talked to all six of my friends who’ve been brave enough to suck dick in a moving vehicle about how to get it done without dying, getting arrested, or getting concussed after your bf accidentally kicks your head into the steering wheel when he cums, or something.
Here’s what they recommend.
1. The step-by-step process.
Step 1: Get blackout drunk.
Step 2: Grab a dude.
Step 3: Get in his car and unbuckle your seatbelt once you hit a country road with no light pollution.
Step 4: Clumsily undo his belt and SLOB THAT KNOB!
Step 5: Meet his parents in the morning because you passed out in their basement.
2. Timing is everything.
Dusk is the best hour, on back roads. Romantic like a candle lit dinner, but also the sneaky mischief hour. And it’s nice foreplay for the occasional abandoned parking lot.
Start it off with a handy. And if it’s getting dangerous, by all means, pull over and finish the job. Always worth it.
3. Surprising locations are a plus.
Do it in a tunnel.
Also, once in a while, pull over in a graveyard and get fucked on the hood of a car only to notice woodland creatures watching like foxes. That’s fun.
4. Make sure he’s passed his driving test.
For boys, you need someone who’s a steady driver. And there shouldn’t be anything in the middle of the console – better yet, no armrests. And he’s gotta have a willingness to just drive the highway.
For girls, you similarly need a solid driver, but also one who can super multitask and be very vocal and loud. Because you have to keep your eyes on the road, your partner’s sounds need to be enough to make the experience really worth it.
5. Stay out of NYC.
Road head in a city is a terrible idea unless you want to turn something sexy into a sex crime.
My ex and I were driving around NYC and it was really fast paced and crazy and I thought it would be fun/cool/flirty to give him road head, but what I didn’t realize is that road head performed while driving on a city street is a horrible idea. There were street lights blasting into the car, the car has to stop every five minutes for a red light — literally it’s the perfect storm for people to see EXACTLY what you’re doing.
My bf didn’t even enjoy it because of the indecent exposure aspect. The only thing separating him from being a crazy homeless man jerking it on the street was basically the presence of the car and me.
Save road head for an uncrowded open road because the possibility of being seen can be thrilling, but once you’re stopped at a red light you realize it’s not just a possibility, you are openly exposing someone’s genitals in public so someone WILL see.
6. Remember his name, for fuck’s sake.
My sister’s guy friend was driving her home from a party and they had both been drinking, so he wasn’t driving very well. And they got pulled over and the cops took them both out of the car and questioned them separately.
The guy goes by a nickname that sounds nothing like his real name, so when the cops asked him his name I guess he said his real name and he told them that the reason he was driving so badly is because my sis was giving him road head. And when they asked her what his name was she said his nickname, and the cop goes, “You don’t even know this young mans name and you’re giving him sexual favors?”
And she was really confused but went along with it and I guess he didn’t end up getting a ticket.