Fyre Festival Has Turned Into a Total Sh*t Show

The music festival business is kind of like a rich investor’s version of a Facebook pyramid scheme.

Translation: everybody wants to get involved because they know they can convince some 19-year-old with no personal finance awareness to spend thousands of dollars on a weekend for the Instagram pics.

They’re not wrong, TBH, but when things go wrong, it’s kind of awk — not to mention dangerous. Oh, and everybody will call you out on social media.

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You’ve probably heard that that’s exactly what’s going down with Fyre Festival, which we honestly should’ve been suspect of from the beginning because who the F spells fire like that?

In fact, even before the festival started this weekend (weekend 1 of 2), there were lots of issues being reported such as artists not being paid, but now that the “festival” has started, we’re beginning to see what a garbage fyre this “lit weekend” is turning out to be.

Let’s just start from the beginning:

The expectation from the guests, who paid a minimum of $4,000 for their tickets, was a luxury music festival on a private island, living in cabanas, alongside super models like Bella Hadid and Emily Ratajkowski. The line-up was said to include Rae Sremmurd, Skepta, Blink 182, Desiigner, Tyga, and Pusha T. And guests flew from Miami to the festival on special chartered Fyre planes.

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Fast-forward to this morning and Fyre has literally cancelled all remaining flights and refunded all guests. The only problem? Tons of people are already there. They issued a statement this morning via Instagram saying they promise to “deliver a great experience” to those already on the island, but judging from the photos we’ve seen, it doesn’t look too great…

Also, we found a notebook from one of the Fyre Fest people. It is amazing. #fyrefestival #fyre

A post shared by William Needham Finley IV (@wnfiv) on

What the actual fuck were the organizers thinking? That everyone would be too drunk to notice that they spent thousands of dollars to sleep in a tent and eat cheese sandwiches?

People also still don’t even know why everything devolved into shit. Here are some deets that are allegedly from someone on the ground, saying the tents weren’t ready.

Naturally, there are the “I told you so” people tweeting shit like, “this is Ja Rule’s purge for Instagram models and rich kids,” and making fun of the poor souls who are trapped in what sounds like the first circle of Hell. Will it be funny in a couple months? Probably. But it’s kind of too soon! People might not be safe! And like, it’s not really their fault that their parents have money or passed them down good Instagram model genes, have a heart!

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Okay, fine, it’s kind of funny.

Naturally, we expect that week two will be completely cancelled, and we’re super intrigued to see if Instagram models and artists start coming out of the woodwork to explain what they’ve had to deal with on their end.

We’re also hearing some people actually aren’t having that bad of a time getting away from Exuma, and the shitty conditions in the videos aren’t universal, so there’s that.

At least this guy’s having fun.


A post shared by Matt (@mr_rage_er) on

NOTE: Fyre Festival approached Galore’s sister agency, Kitten, about the event.

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