Brokenhearted Babe: The Girl Whose BF Wants to Wait Until Marriage
Welcome to Brokenhearted Babe, Galore’s love advice column helmed by Lexi Ioannou. An influencer and soon-to-be author of her own book, also called “Brokenhearted Babe,” Lexi is answering your toughest and most awkward questions about love, sex, and dating. Send your Qs to firstname.lastname@example.org. This week’s question: WTF do you do when your boyfriend’s “saving himself”?
“My first high school boyfriend is fine with doing anything hookup-wise — except sex. I’m okay with that, but I’m scared that we’ll date long enough that I’ll be a virgin for college (I’m going into my senior year of high school) which I don’t think is a good idea. My friends say that all guys will ‘break’ and that he’ll give in to having sex, but I’m not sure. And whenever we talk about it, it kinda turns into a fight. I wasn’t raised religiously, so I don’t really understand his whole sex before marriage idea and sometimes I worry it’s because he’s not into me enough. What should I do?”
Start by asking yourself these two questions: what are the chances you’re actually going to marry this guy and how badly do you want to get laid?
If you think entering college a virgin is a bad idea simply because society has brainwashed you that it is, you might want to reconsider. There’s nothing wrong with staying a virgin if it’s what you want. So many people enter college virgins and it’s totally chill. Hell, Adriana Lima didn’t lose her virginity until she was married at 27 (allegedly…) and she’s a total babe.
If you really do love him then maybe you guys can reach a happy medium. There are plenty of other ways to get off without actually having legit sex, but you’ve probably already figured that all out. The moment of truth is really the fact of whether you’re cool with settling for JUST that?
If not getting your v-card revoked before heading off to college is going to seriously mess with your head, then maybe it’s time to reflect on the direction your relationship is heading in and weigh your options. Are you and your boyf heading off to different universities in the fall? Is long distance going to be a factor? Lets be real here, the odds are against you if that is the case so you might as well put your needs first.
You have to move at your own pace. If you feel totally ready to lose your virginity and he’s basically not going to be ready to give you his D for another 5-10 years, you’re going to have to let him go to get it on. Be straight up with your wants and needs, babe. You essentially have to chose between what he wants and what your vagina wants. You can’t live off the hope that he will “break.” You either have to chose to respect his religious decision or be real with him and tell him that you can’t live your life sexless and move on.
On the bright side babe, it’s better to have this problem than to have the guy you’re with pressuring you to have sex before you’re ready. You’re in control and all that matters is you go in the direction that you’re comfortable with — and that you of course keep your vagina happy.
xoxo, Brokenhearted Babe
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