9 Things No Girl Wants From Her Boo For Christmas
If you’re cuffed up in time for the holidays, getting a gift for your boo can cause serious stress. After all, dudes are tough to shop for, and you have to decide how much to spend on him accordingly.
But the real anxiety comes from wondering what bae is going to get you. Because let’s be real, guys are horrible at picking out gifts. And even if they do pick out a semi-decent gift, half of the time it’s secretly for him, not you.
1. Lingerie
Yes, lingerie is fun. Pretty sure most girls would be semi-hyped about a nice La Perla or Agent Provocateur set. But let’s be real, most guys are going to go to Victoria’s Secret instead, and buy you something that’s 100% a gift for him, not you. Nice try though!
2. Workout Clothes
So uh… is this bae’s way of saying you need to stop lying about going to the gym and actually go? Unless you’re the type of girl who wears Lululemon religiously and “needs” their newest collection, who the f wants workout gear for Christmas? That’s way too fucking practical, and kind of a secret roast tbh.
3. Kitchen Shit
Another pretty offensive and sexist gift, unless you’re an aspiring Betty Crocker. Also way too fucking practical unless it’s a Swarovski-encrusted Cuisinart or a designer apron. Guys, please don’t buy us anything useful. We can get that ourselves.
4. A Stuffed Animal
Middle school boyfriends give this shit for Valentine’s Day. I know your bae probs hasn’t matured that much since middle school, but can he at least pretend that he has? Not only is a stuffed animal going to rot in your closet since you’re too embarrassed to display it proudly, but it also shows no effort whatsoever.
5. Something That’s Clearly Last-Minute
Ah, impulse buys. Great for tricking you to spending more money at Target, not so great when it comes to using them as gifts for your significant other. You want bae to put in effort when picking your gift. This can maybe be forgiven if he spent a lot of money, because a black Chanel bag isn’t personal, but you’ll still take it. But it can’t be forgiven if it’s some cheap bullshit that is on the rando rack in Urban Outfitters.
6. Something We Thought Was Aspirational in Grade School
For the love of God, pray that your bae realizes that you have no desire for anything Tiffany’s or Juicy Couture anymore. On the plus side, you could probs sell the Tiffany’s shit online to some midwestern English teacher and make some money off of it. After scolding your boo for implying you’re basic, obviously.
7. The Cheapest Version of Something Nice
If your bae can’t afford something fancy, you probably already know that and aren’t expecting much. He shouldn’t try to fake it by buying the tiniest diamond earrings he can find, or buying a Louis Vuitton keychain instead of the bag you’ve been lusting after. Nobody wants a Louis Vuitton keychain unless it’s attached to a Louis Vuitton bag. He would’ve almost been better off buying you a fake bag from Chinatown, almost.
8. Anything You Got a “Great Deal” On
Most of us girls shop all the fucking time, we know what’s on sale and what’s in the bargain bin. We know the “hot deals” on Gilt and which places had crazy Black Friday sales. Dudes should stop trying to cut corners, because we know better. Plus, there are also those idiot dudes who think it’s something to brag about. Like, why would we ever want to hear that our boyfriend got a great deal on our gift? It goes with the above point, if he can’t afford it, he should stop trying.
9. Anything Practical
We’re independent women. “Shoes I’m wearing, I bought it. House I live in, I bought rent it.” We buy most of the things we “need,” because we have to. The whole point of getting gifts, especially from bae, is to get things that we would never buy ourselves, like those crazy sparkly stilettos or that obnoxious ass furry clutch. Boys like practical things, we do not. Will they ever get this into their heads? Unlikely, but worth a shot.
