7 Ways To Prepare For Cuffing Season
Cuffing season is here.
It’s almost too cold to be meeting hotties at BBQ’s and soon, it will be way too icy on the roads for you to head to the club in your sky-high stiletto heels.
So what to do? Find a winter time bae to snuggle up and watch Netflix with while drinking spiked apple cider. While it’s not quite cuffing season yet, it’s better to be prepared early.
1. Prepare For The Ghosts of Hook-ups Past
Remember all those dudes that you were into at one point until they mysteriously disappeared? Miraculously, all these dudes will probably come running right back now that it’s winter time and they need somewhere to keep (their cock) warm.
2. Weigh Your Options
Whether you’re going back to an old fuck buddy or investing in a new lover, there are some crucial attributes that you need to consider for cuffing season. First off, how far do they live from you? The closer, the better. Because unless your pussy squirts hundred dollar bills, there’s no way a man is going to drive 50 miles through a blizzard to your place. Other things to consider are his favorite movies and/or TV shows, because it’s unlikely that you’re going to enjoy spending all winter watching The Walking Dead when you’d rather be watching Pretty Little Liars.
3. Send Out This Application
Instead of awkwardly searching the streets and/or Tinder for a guy who loves Amy’s Mac & Cheese and Orange Is The New Black, this application will make the process quick and easy!
4. Get a Cute Pair of Comfy Clothes
We all know that when you’re watching movies alone you’re rocking your bleach-stained yoga pants with a hole in the crotch. As much as your new snuggle buddy may appreciate the easy access, you might want to invest in some more seductive loungewear.
5. Steal Your Parent’s and/or Roommate’s Netflix Account
If you prefer to have your cuffing season buddy over at your place (and let’s be real, you’re not going to want to trudge over to his house in the snow), you better make sure you’re hooked up to Netflix. Being the broke bitch that you probably are, your best bet is to sneak onto your parents’ or roommate’s account. Just try not to watch too much weird shit on there or they’re going to start to wonder…but then again, they’re probably not going to be surprised.
6. Stock Up On Lots of Snacks
Grubhub and Postmates are both wonderful options, but sometimes you can’t even be bothered to walk to the front door, am I right? You should probably just cut your losses and head to Costco for those family sized boxes of Ramen and Easy Mac.
7. And Wine
If you can’t budget for the snacks, at least stock up on lots of wine. Drinking a whole bottle is kind of the same thing as dinner, right? Besides, if your winter time bae is still a fresh romance (or if you found him from one of the applications above), you’re obviously going to need alcohol to ease the awkwardness.