6 Things You Won’t Miss If You Do a Social Media Cleanse
Yesterday was National Unfriend Day, but that doesn’t mean it’s too late to unfriend those rando dudes you met on your fam trip to Cancun or that girl you’ve hated since the third grade. But maybe un-friending isn’t enough, maybe you need an entire social media cleanse. After all the lengthy post-election statuses and debates taking place in comment sections, I think we could all use it.
If you do decide to take the plunge and go cold turkey on social media, here are the things that you definitely won’t miss.
1. FOMO
Do you really care that your two college roomies are in Ibiza right now living it up post-grad while you did the “responsible” thing and got a full-time job? Well, yes, if being mad and jealous means you care, then you do care. But regardless, you would rather not see that shit. After all, nothing can make you hate your job like seeing your friends constantly partying without a care in the world. Must be nice to have rich parents…*sigh*
2. Diet Sabotagers
Nothing is worse than when you eat clean all week, but then your favorite foodie Instagram account posts a pic of a cookie-dough milkshake that’s served only ten blocks from your apartment. Suddenly, you have to have it. Fuck the salad you packed, you’re about to drink that whole milkshake in the thirty minutes you’re allotted for lunch. After all, it’s Friday, right?
3. Anything Involving Your Ex
Okay, maybe if your ex is doing horribly and looks like a drunk mess on social media, then you kind of like seeing it. But other than that, you don’t want to see him. Even if you don’t miss him, seeing a pic can make you miss him. And seeing him with a new girl can definitely make you miss him. Whether you’re doing a social media cleanse or not, you should block his ass.
4. Fitspo That Does The Exact Opposite
Some people claim that following a bunch of ridiculously hot and fit girls on social media makes them want to go to the gym. But personally, seeing a bunch of girls with unreal bodies just makes me want to give up, stop working out, and order some cheese fries, because I know that even if I go gluten-free, paleo, and get a personal trainer, I’ll never look like that. Oh, and unless I pay a trip to the plastic surgeon, of course.
5. The Girls Who Look Completely Different Online
Celebrities and insta-models edit the shit out of their photos, if you didn’t know this, now you do. But when people you actually hang out with in person edit their photos, it’s a little awk. It’s even more awk when people start confronting you about it, like rando dudes coming up to you like, “oh yeah, that one chick in your sorority, I heard she looks a lot different in person.” WTF do you say to that? Yes? No? Have you ever heard of FaceTune? Better to just sip your drink and ask where the bathroom is.
6. Wannabe Politicians Who Don’t Know What a Credible News Source Is
We advise strongly against un-friending everyone who doesn’t have the same political views as you. After all, if you aren’t informed about both sides, you’re just as bad as them. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t annoying seeing a Trump-supporter post article after article from ridiculously biased and non-credible news sources. Like, c’mon, if you’re going to read biased conservative news, at least go to FOX, not the fucking NRA website…
