9 People It Is OKAY To Unfriend On Facebook

There was once a time when it was “cool” to have a lot of friends on Facebook. However, now Facebook  friends have been replaced with Instagram followers and Twitter Retweets. Be honest with yourself, do you really care that your third grade boyfriend is going to Grad School at Duke? Or that the kid who sat next to you in AP History just vacationed in Alabama? Probably not. Here are the people that we deem it is okay to unfriend:

1. The Serial Dater

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Wait, wait, wait: how does this chick manage to find a new boyfriend EVERY week? We can’t even find one! Although it is pretty humorous to see her with a new #MCM every few weeks (they seem to be getting weirder every time), I think it’s time to unfriend before she starts dating people you actually know.

2. The Therapy Session

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When I’m having troubles, I usually go to my best friend, my roommate, even my mom. Either this person does not have one single person to talk to about serious matters, or they just like to crowd source. Hey, maybe they really do want everyone’s opinion on if they should dump their cheating boyfriend, you should totally comment on that shit.

3. The Persevering Creep

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Sure, you expect a sexual comment or two on that profile pic of you in a bikini from spring break, but not on every single picture you upload from the trip…He sees that you’ve read every single one of his messages and haven’t responded… so why does he continue chatting you.. and poking you.. people still do that? I think someone took the 4th grade “never give up on your dreams” speech to heart.

4. The Attention Whore

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Although most of these lovely ladies (or men) have filtered on over to Instagram, where there is much more appreciation for their shirtless selfies, there are a few slow ones who remain on Facebook. How many comments and likes do they need to receive to ease their self-esteem problems for the next hour? Only god knows..

5. The Library

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If I wanted to read articles all day, I would have logged into Elite Daily, not Facebook. While “30 Things Every 20-something girl NEEDS in their life” totally applies to your basic existence, you really don’t need to share that and 15 other articles in one day… do you even read them all yourself?

6. The Tracking Device

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Oh, you’re headed to the gym, doing your meal prep, and then headed out on the town with boys? That’s funny, I don’t remember asking! If you really feel the need to update the internet with every single one of your daily activities, can’t you at least take it to twitter? I hope for your sake that you never have a stalker, because you would make their job far too easy.

7. The Scrapbook

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I. Do. Not. Want. To. See. Your. Babies. Not in your sonogram, not in the delivery room, not on their first birthday! I really just don’t want to see your snot-nosed kids at all, sorry. Do you realize you’re putting naked pictures of your daughter on the internet before she even knows what the internet is?! No, probably not, because you’re busy making your 6 month old child an Instagram account.

8. The Politician

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Isn’t there some type of forum you can express your political views to? Better yet, why don’t you f***ing run for congress since you seem to know soooo much about the government. Either way, save it for someone who cares, because I can guarantee you the only interest you’re going to get on your post is someone who’s trying to have a comment war.

9. The Gamer

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I never played candy crush, and contrary to your belief, your constant invites are not going to entice me! Do you know how cool the status updates of yours when you level up look? Yeah, really f***ing cool

 


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