Why Even Women Like Beyoncé Get Cheated On
Who would cheat on Beyoncé?
After the release of Beyoncé’s Lemonade last weekend, that was the question on everyone’s mind.
Assuming Jay really did cheat, you might be wondering how a woman like Beyoncé, who is gorgeous, talented, strong, and successful, could still not “keep” her man. But in all matters of cheating, it’s the cheater who failed — not their partner.
It’s been found that many men cheat due to the insecurity that they feel in their relationships, and if the insinuations in “Lemonade” are true, Jay Z is clearly no exception. Your insecure partner isn’t going to cheat on you because he found someone prettier, someone who is more fun in bed, or someone who nags him less; he’s going to cheat on you because he wants a confidence boost or security with his manhood. It’s as simple as that, and while it may come as a shock, it shouldn’t.
“Cheating is a bad behavior that stems from insecurities, such as negative thinking, pride and manhood,” Sheri Ragland, author of Seven Deep Insecurites That Men Don’t Want Women To Know, told Galore. “Negative thinking is the key culprit that causes many men to cheat. Pride is another insecurity that plays a role in cheating. Pride affirms that a man can do whatever he wants to do regardless of the consequences.”
Think back to the last time you felt that your partner wasn’t paying attention to you or was “too busy” for you. It was probably tempting to post a sexy selfie for male attention, to text that one guy from work who’s super into you, or to go out that night and flirt with someone at the bar. If you’re secure with your relationship and yourself, you likely didn’t act on any of those inclinations. But if not, you may have done something that you shouldn’t have. In fact, when Galore asked our readers to tell us why they cheated, many respondents admitted that it was for attention or a confidence boost.
Looking back in history, Beyoncé isn’t the first famous and celebrated woman that’s been cheated on. Jude Law allegedly cheated on Sienna Miller in 2005 with their nanny. Last summer, Ben Affleck allegedly cheated on Jennifer Garner with their nanny as well. In fact, it leads us to wonder if the Carter household has a nanny that’s been “Becky with the good hair” all along. And we all remember that time Arnold Schwarzenegger had a kid with his housekeeper while married to Maria Shriver.
These examples of famous men sleeping with their employees prove that cheating “may be about sexual power,” says Ragland. “Deep-seeded insecurities, such as negative thinking and pride, play a strong role in determining just how far a man will go to fulfill his needs even at the expense of his relationship.”
No offense to the nannies of the world, but who do you think will make an insecure man feel more powerful? A nanny who is paid to serve him, or his wife that has a more successful career and is constantly on the road doing business?
“We erroneously believe that someone who cheats must be really secure and confident, but actually the opposite is true,” Sheri Meyers, author of Chatting or Cheating, told Galore. “Often, it’s the cheater’s insecurity that is the real source of disloyalty.”
If Beyoncé was cheated on, it wasn’t because she wasn’t good enough for Jay Z. In fact, it could be argued that she was too good for Jay Z. Maybe he needed someone who would worship him, always have time for him, and make him feel better about his developing inferiority complex.
“At the heart of feeling insecure is a lack of self-valuing which leads us to look for love, valuing and appreciation from others, outside of ourselves,” says Meyers.
But, how can you tell if your dude is the type to stray when he’s feeling insecure or feels that he’s not getting enough attention?
“A woman needs to understand her partner’s perceptions of manhood based on his beliefs and values as well as his past experiences,” says Ragland. “The best thing for a woman to do is to have a conversation with her partner about their relationship needs from time to time just to be on the same page. By paying attention to men’s insecurities, women can better understand their dynamic nature based on their response to relationship needs.”
Like any relationship, everything is all about balance and communication. Relationships don’t work because you’re beautiful, rich, or successful. While there are thousands of men who would kill to have one shot with Beyoncé, that doesn’t mean that she’s immune to relationship struggles. With a billion-dollar career like Beyoncé’s, she needs a partner who can be strong and understand that she’s not always going to have time for him.
“While a cheater, especially a womanizer, may appear confident on the outside, the mask is not real,” says Meyers. “It is a façade to compensate for deeper feelings and fears on the inside. They look to others to mirror their worth, find them sexy, adore them, want them because they can’t give it to themselves on the inside.”
That’s not to say that you should date a cocky motherfucker, but if you’re a boss bitch like Beyoncé with a million things on your plate, you need a partner who is confident in your relationship and knows that you have other priorities. While we don’t actually know why (or even if) Jay Z truly cheated on Beyonce, but one thing is for sure: no relationship, no matter how star-studded, is immune to the problems that we all go through. If you want to make like Beyoncé and run the world, find a man who can handle you first. Or don’t, because there’s nothing wrong with being a single lady.