6 Phrases To Get You Exactly What You Want In Bed

Unless you’re a dominatrix, telling a guy what you want in bed can be tricky territory. How can you explain what you want without hurting his feelings or killing the mood? What’s the appropriate number of dates until you can let him know that his “signature move” actually doesn’t do shit for you?

While it seems complicated, it’s actually easier than you think to get what you want in bed if you know the right language to use. Forget awkward pauses and deflated egos, watch and learn.

1. “I love when you…”

Rather than focusing on what your man is doing wrong (i.e: rubbing the inside of your thigh rather than your clit), focus on what he’s doing right. If you love the way he gently licks your nipples, make sure he knows. Moaning is a good start, but vocalizing that you love what he’s doing is better. The more he realizes what you want him to do, the less time he’ll spend doing the things that you don’t like so much.

2. “I’ve been fantasizing about…”

So maybe ever since you watched Pirates of The Caribbean you’ve wanted to do a pirate role play, but had no idea how to casually bring this up to your significant other. This is exactly the phrase to use. Upon hearing the thought of you fantasizing, your man will already be hyped. Just make sure to involve him in your fantasy, and that’s all he’ll need to get super excited about trying whatever you want to do. Honestly, the thought of you fantasizing will likely send him on a whirlwind of thinking about you playing with yourself and quickly lead to a boner.

3. “I think it would be so hot if we tried…”

Maybe your ex would always finger your asshole and you fucking loved it, but your current bae does not need to know that. Instead of bringing up something you’ve tried (and liked) to try to convince your boo to try it, make it seem like you haven’t tried said sexual act before.

I’m not saying to lie about your sexual experience, that’s not cool. But you certainly shouldn’t bring up how much you loved that your ex hook-up pulled your hair during doggy style. Instead, make it seem like it’s your own idea, and the fact that you want to try it with your man is all the motivation he’ll need.

4. “I like It ____-er”

Whether you like it rougher, softer, wetter, or harder, just spit that out. No guy is going to complain about you asking for it harder, and even if he get’s slightly offended that you’re forgoing his rough finger blasting for something “gentler,” he’ll likely enjoy that you know what you want and aren’t afraid to vocalize it. Sometimes the easiest way to get what you want is to say it straight up. If it’s during the act, simply speak a little more seductively when asking him to be “louder” or “rougher.” Men’s egos are precious, but they’d rather you say something so that you’re both having a more pleasurable experience (and so you don’t have to fake it).

5. “I feel like you’d be great at…”

Many guys are super competitive by nature, and this is a great way to fuel that fire. If your man doesn’t eat your pussy enough, this would be a perfect phrase to use. Instead of explicitly asking him to do so (although that’s not a bad idea either, because you deserve oral), make it into a sort of competitive compliment. If he doesn’t try it out, he’s basically admitting that he’s not great at it, and most guys want to prove that they’re great at everything, especially when it comes to the bedroom.

6. No words at all

Sometimes, all you need is a little strategic moaning to get your partner to hit the right spot. If your partner needs to work on learning the geography of your nether regions, simply direct him using your moans. Don’t fake them, but perhaps elaborate when he’s on the right spot (meaning moan loudly) and stay quiet as a mouse when he’s on the wrong spot. If he’s at all observant, he’ll quickly realize which touches that you’re enjoying and which ones that you aren’t. He’ll want to hear as much of your moaning as possible, and make sure to move the right way to keep you screaming.

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